#he learned from his mistakes and realized that he sucked at his job | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

redladydeath · 3 months ago

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Monthly Proto Vox AU update

For anyone who doesn't know, ever since Prototype Vox was discovered, I've been gradually putting together a backstory for Vox centered around the idea that that's how he originally spawned in Hell. It's gotten to be over 10K words long. Just wanted to make a new masterpost since I've added onto the older one 32 times.

Also, I don't think I ever posted about this, but I put this on Ao3 a few weeks ago.

Alastor goes to speak with another overlord, trying to decide whether or not he should kill them. While there, he notices that said overlord has the most fascinating little toy/pet/jester. Such novel technology… he thinks he’ll take it, whether the overlord wants him to or not!

Alastor keeps Vox around because he’s cute and entertaining. As time passes, a legitimate friendship starts to form as Alastor realizes that Vox is far more than meets the eye— tricksy, devious, and intelligent. He learns that before he arrived in Hell, Vox was a handsome, well-respected adult man, and he isn’t too keen on constantly being mistaken for a child and treated like a joke by other sinners. A pity he has to live like that�� but it’s not like there’s anything to be done for it! And Alastor must say, he’s fond of his little picture box the way he is.

With Alastor’s guidance, Vox slowly accumulates knowledge and resources and discovers that he can modify his body. He jumps on the opportunity at once— he doesn’t want to live like this anymore, and he’ll do anything to be respected (or at least taken seriously) by other people again. Alastor disapproves but holds his tongue.

Time passes, and Vox changes more and more things about himself until he’s almost unrecognizable. He and Alastor get into arguments about it. It’s galling to Vox that Alastor keeps insisting he was better off in a form he hated. Mix all this with the modernity and “morality”/standards stuff, and you eventually get Vox and Alastor falling out.

Years later, Vox hates that he was ever that weak and can’t stand being reminded of Alastor, their old relationship, or his early life in Hell. He works hard to destroy/bury any traces of who he used to be, but Alastor is a walking, eternal reminder of the past he’d rather forget. Alastor is loathe to admit it, but he still misses his old friend. Sometimes, he wonders if he ever truly knew him at all.

---

Freshly fallen Vox seeking out an overlord’s protection because, holy shit, if he tries to survive on the streets any longer, he’s gonna get killed, or worse. Most sinners get asked if they can do anything useful when they go to an overlord; Vox gets asked if he can sing, dance, and do comedy routines. He can, so he’s quickly scooped up by the overlord. He supposes he should be grateful that he was able to score a comfortable job doing something not terribly unpleasant, but the dehumanization of being treated like a doll or an adorable purse dog grates on him. He remembers who he really is (or used to be) and would do anything to be seen as a man again rather than a novelty.

---

Imagine feeling so utterly desexed by your body, finding someone you think you can trust to respect you, confessing that you’re in love with them, and they laugh in your face for thinking such a thing was even remotely possible. Alastor doesn’t do a great job clarifying that he’s disinterested in a relationship out of personal preference rather than because he doesn’t respect Vox, and Vox walks away from the encounter seething, believing that Alastor never saw him as anything more than a pet or a clown.

---

Man, this would especially suck for my hc version of Vox, who used to be a small-time Vaudevillian when he was a child. Like. Yaaaayyy, time to dance around and act cutesy for people who have complete power over you… again…… when you’re pushing forty…………

---

Vox was REALLY starting to feel like he'd made an irreversible mistake before Alastor came into his life. He'd been in the employ of his overlord for four years, and he could count the number of times he'd been allowed to leave their compound on two (four-fingered) hands. They weren't cruel to him per se, but they really did seem to see him as a pet– something to trail after them all day, do tricks on demand, and show off to colleagues at parties. Any plans he had for carving out a dignified, powerful life for himself were going up in smoke. He knew a lot of things from constantly overhearing conversations about the overlord's business, but he didn't have anyone to trade that information to because of his restricted mobility. He understood that he had some pretty unique powers, but he'd never gotten the chance to use them in combat, only to perform. It was becoming clear to Vox that the only way he was going to escape this doltish, embarrassing life was if someone killed his overlord (something he couldn't do himself due to the deal they struck).

And then the Radio Demon came walking through the door.

---

Vox really has no idea what Alastor's deal is when they first meet. Like. He kidnaps him but also says Vox can leave whenever he wants. But like. where is he supposed to go??? Alastor just killed his overlord, which, yeah, Vox wanted to happen, but now he's homeless and isn't sure how to proceed. Is it safe to stay with Alastor, or is he just going to kill him next?

Vox keeps up the "silly little cartoon" persona for a while because Alastor seems to find it amusing, but things gradually slip through the cracks. He's scared Alastor will abandon or kill him if he grows bored or dissatisfied with him, but... Alastor seems to like the real him? He actually lets him speak freely and talk about whatever he wants? He uses his tech powers to turn off the in-built censors that keep Vox from swearing?? When he realizes that Vox is actually really cunning, he wants to hear his feedback on things??? Sure, he still kinda talks down to him, but Alastor's like that with everyone. This... maybe this could be more than just trading one master for another.

---

Random thoughts about Vox’s overlord

She was enamored with him from the first moment she saw him. He was just so precious! And he was willing to do anything to receive her protection!

Her industry had nothing to do with entertainment; she took Vox in purely to be her own personal jester.

Not sure if she owned his soul or just had a deal with him to give him a safe place to live in exchange for his services.

Loved treating him like a doll. Would dress him in cute, oversized outfits, carry him around in her arms, and occasionally bring him to bed and cuddle him like some sort of plushie.

There were occasions, especially towards the beginning, when Vox would snap at her or reveal elements of his real personality. Those incidents would only lead to her doubling down on the demeaning treatment. She’d experienced mistreatment at the hands of men like him when she was alive and saw asserting her power over him as cathartic and karmic.

Usually brought him with her everywhere, but would sometimes leave him locked in her office/room by himself if she had something important scheduled. Vox had initially thought he could leave or at least walk around when she didn’t need him, but no. Besides, why would he want to leave? The streets of Hell were no place for a tiny, fragile thing like him!

Vox fucking hated her and was glad to see Alastor bash her brains in and feature her on his show.

---

Mainverse Vox died by being electrocuted by an ungrounded mic at work right before they went live. This Vox died by being electrocuted while trying to fix the family TV. His kids had been begging him to at least try to fix it since the repairman couldn’t come until the next day, and they didn’t want to miss their favorite cartoon. He was feeling indulgent that day and felt that, as the man of the house, he should be able to fix things without always calling someone else to do it for him. It didn’t end well.

---

Thinking about Vox and Alastor’s first encounter.

Alastor might have seen Vox before at an overlord event, being shown off by his boss or performing for her friends. He may have seen him for the first time when he walked into Vox’s overlord’s office and saw her toying with him. Either way, Alastor was immediately intrigued. He hadn’t seen many sinners like Vox, with his screen head and cartoony body, and could instantly tell he was a highly skilled performer. His eyes followed him, even as Vox’s overlord put him aside and ordered him to get her and Alastor drinks. Vox could tell Alastor was watching him but wasn’t sure what to do about it. It’s probably not a good sign when the infamous Radio Demon is eying you like you’re his next meal.

Eventually, the overlord noticed that Alastor was not paying full attention to their conversation and was preoccupied with Vox. The topic briefly switched to him before Alastor inquired if she’d be willing to bargain for him. Vox was horrified. The overlord attempted to politely decline; she couldn’t bear to part with her precious little poppet. He was hers, and it would be cruel to separate them— they adored each other so much, after all. Alastor just smiled blithely and clarified: he wasn’t asking.

All hell broke loose in an instant. One moment, Vox was observing a conversation between his boss and her colleague; the next, the office was crawling with shadows, and his overlord was pinned to the wall, impaled on a tentacle. Vox panicked and tried to flee, but there was no escaping that room. There are two options for what happens next: either Vox is seized by Alastor and teleported out of the building, or Vox’s boss screams at him to help her, only for him to glance between her and Alastor and fix her with an icy stare.

No matter what happened, the outcome was the same: Vox found himself teleported onto the streets of Hell with Alastor looming over him. He frantically attempted to talk Alastor out of killing him, but Al just laughed jovially and told Vox that he had no intention of harming him. Vox was free to leave whenever he wanted, but Alastor would like to see just how entertaining he truly was.

---

As they're walking, Alastor notices a weird clicking sound coming from Vox. He asks what it is, and Vox awkwardly explains that he's wearing tap shoes and starts trying to take them off as he walks. Alastor is amused and tells him not to bother. He'd love to see him dance sometime.

---

Val: Baby? What were things like before you met me? Vox: Awesome. I had- I had women all over me, they just couldn’t get enough. Everyone was always dying to see my shows. I was voted the hottest person in Hell. It was great. Vox’s actual early career in Hell:

---

Thinking about one of the times Vox “mouthed off” to his overlord. He may be a performer, but there’s only so long he can stay in character, especially when said character is so undignified. He refused to play along with one of her little games and snapped at her that he was a man, not a fucking show dog.

Next thing Vox knew, he was nearly blinded by pain as his boss twisted his antenna almost to its breaking point. Her voice sickeningly sweet, she told him she knew exactly what kind of man he had been— Earth’s crawling with them. But those days are over now. Respect has to be earned in Hell; it’s not just going to be handed to him like when he was alive. The afterlife has made him a joke, and the sooner he accepts that the happier he'll be. That’s what he signed up for when they made their little arrangement, after all. She asked if she was understood and kept twisting his antenna until she got a loud-and-clear “Yes, ma’am” out of him. With that, she snapped back to normal and either cheerfully ushered him towards [whatever she was forcing him to do] or dismissed him in her typical patronizing manner.

Vox broke half the items in his room that night in a rage. He tried to leave gouges on his skin and dents in his head, but he couldn’t manage it, what with his stupid, soft little hands.

---

It doesn’t really fit with my headcanon that Alastor was super white-passing when he was alive and spent most of his life pretending to be white in order to have more opportunities, but I feel like he may have felt a kinship with Proto-Vox due to them both being “outsiders”— people who are/were constantly dismissed by those in power and have to work twice as hard in order to be taken seriously, even though they’re more skilled and competent than everyone else in the room. And so it hurt all the more when Vox leapt at the first opportunity to change who he was in order to join the class of people who had once looked down on him. It didn’t fully click with Alastor that Vox wasn’t always like this– that he was trying to return to who he once was rather than abandoning who he’d always been.

---

Vox wasn’t exactly doing himself any favors in terms of connecting with the other sinners who worked under his overlord. He was so desperate to reestablish at least some control over his situation that, on the rare occasion he got to interact with people without his boss looming over them, he was insufferable, acting as though his position as their overlord's constant companion made him superior to regular employees. It never actually made him feel any better though, since most people either just rolled their eyes or testily reminded him that his oh-so-important job was to make a fool of himself all day and be doted on by his "owner."

---

To most outside observers, it really looked as though the relationship between Vox and his overlord was genuinely loving. She was just so affectionate with him. There was never a moment when she wasn’t tittering away at his jokes, or playing with his antennas or plug tail, or scooping him up into her arms or lap, or hugging or tickling or cuddling him, or covering him in kisses, or coming up with adorable pet names, or showing him off to others as though he were the rarest gem she’d ever come across. No one ever seemed to notice that Vox was never the one to initiate these kind of interactions. Depending on who you asked, it was either the most adoring master-servant arrangement Hell had ever seen, a (possibly biological?) mother-son dynamic, or just an INCREDIBLY kinky relationship. Vox played his part well, laughing along and hardly ever letting the smiling mask slip. No one ever could’ve guessed just how much he loathed her and the entire humiliating situation or how cruel she could be whenever he dared drop the act.

Well, no one except Alastor, that is.

---

Imo, Proto Vox would just sound like normal Vox slightly pitched up, but man, Hell giving him a lisp or some other "funny" way of speaking on top of everything else would be such a gut punch for him. His good looks and his charismatic manner of speech were key to his success when he was alive, and now both of those lifelines have been severed.

---

Personal, headcanon-specific thoughts:

Proto Vox’s outfit is very similar to a costume he wore during his childhood on Vaudeville.

Alternate option: While I hc that sinners spawn naked, if they don’t, then Vox spawned in the exact 1920s sailor suit he used to wear during most of his childhood performances.

His Hell form is a punishment not only because it robs him of all dignity, but because it’s a constant reminder of a part of his life when he had no power over his situation and was treated like an object meant only to entertain.

---

Thinking about how Alastor’s “a smile is a means of maintaining control” philosophy might strike a chord with Proto Vox. When he was alive (and later, in his career as an overlord), putting on a smile was a way for him to project the person he wanted others to perceive him as. If he looked the part, then people would believe he was the confident, steady, trustworthy man he presented as. After he arrived in Hell, though, a smile became a mask he could not take off. Hell had chosen a role for him, and if he failed to play it well enough, he risked permanent death or worse. He resented having to keep that mindless grin on his face at all times. This wasn’t who he wanted to be. This wasn’t who he was. The idea that he could use that iron mask to regain control over his life was foreign to him, but it made sense. Now that he was no longer chained to a master who kept him locked into that hated role at all times, he had a choice in how he wanted to use it— for day-to-day survival or to further his true ambitions?

---

Vox and Alastor’s first encounter was at an overlord party like something out of a Regency romance, except Vox was three feet tall and didn’t notice Alastor was watching him because he was too busy performing for his boss’ overlord friends. Alastor appreciated the skill on display in Vox’s routine and was intrigued by the unusual way his “owner” treated him. Sure, some overlords treat those under them as pets, but she was so overly cutesy and “loving” with him that it stood out, especially given the way Vox feigned reciprocation. Interesting.

---

A scene/story idea: Vox is sitting at a desk in a grand, spacious office. It’s late, and he’s just killing time, wishing he had a cigar (and a mouth to smoke it with) and occasionally scribbling down notes for future reference. The stationary he’s using has the date printed at the top, though. It’s his daughter’s tenth birthday. He reflects on how it’s been three years since he last saw her and the rest of his family and how he’ll likely never see them again. He hopes his wife is throwing her an appropriately extravagant party, at least. They’d gone all-out for their son’s tenth birthday; half the neighborhood was there, even one or two of the ladies from work who had blown him in exchange for putting in a good word with the producers. It was a great time.

And then his boss comes walking in, complaining about what a stressful day she’s had, and the illusion that this is Vox’s office shatters. He hops down to the floor, taking his dance/comedy routine notes with him. His boss is busy getting herself a drink, so he hopes she didn’t notice him sitting in her chair. He starts trying to engage her in conversation, switching to his work persona (cheerful, cutesy, and childish). She did notice him, but she just smiles indulgently and says he always knows just what to do to cheer her up— he looked so silly sitting at her big, important desk. Now, she needs a bit of comfort; they’ll be going to bed now. She scoops Vox up as easily as if he were a doll and carries him off to serve as her (very angular) teddy bear. Vox keeps the adoring smile plastered on his face and tries to put aside the burning shame and rage that this is what the afterlife has reduced him to: a child, a pet, a toy��meant to entertain those who wield the actual power.

---

You know, come to think of it, there’s actually some basis to Alastor feeling a bit of a kinship with Vox. Aside from the obvious shared trait of them both being communications/entertainment demons, Alastor’s demonic form is a prey animal. Al never had to deal with the consequences of having that kind of form since he spawned so powerful (unless we’re going with the theory that he made his mystery deal right when he got to Hell and draws the majority of his power from it (which would be pretty interesting in this context…)), but still.

---

Made Vox's room in the Sims

---

Vox tried to walk out of his job once. His boss pushed him too far, and he snapped, yelling at her to find someone else to play this fucked up game with; he’d rather take his chances on the streets. Next thing he knew, he was bound, muted, and blindfolded, being crammed into a tiny suitcase. His overlord told him to reflect on what he’d said. There’s no life after second death, only nothingness. Is that really a risk he wants to take?

Vox was in “storage” for the next week. He didn’t try to leave again after that.

---

When Vox’s boss finally decided he’d had enough time to reflect, she opened the trunk to find Vox barely able to move under his own power. He was trembling like a freezing cat, having spent seven whole days bound in the fetal position, unable to move, speak, hear, or see. He couldn’t even unfurl himself from said position without her help. When she took him into her arms, he clung to her, any thoughts of hate or anger gone, replaced with a desperate desire for human connection after a week of nothingness. She cradled him in her arms— sweet as a lamb and without a shred of that odious pride she’d been working so hard to stamp out of him. Whispering kind, soothing words, she stroked his shaking, silent body as she carried him back to her bedroom. She dozed off with him in her arms, secure in the knowledge that her darling little doll had learned his lesson: being her toy is a privilege, and the only possible alternative for him is oblivion.

---

Thinking about Proto Vox and body dysmorphia

Vox hated everything about his body.

He hated being so small, not even half the size of most other sinners.

He hated his face, cute and goofy-looking. He hated his “missing tooth,” which only added to his childish appearance.

He hated his head, oversized and heavy. He hated how clumsy it made him before he became accustomed to it.

He hated not having a physical mouth and being unable to eat.

He hated his voice, higher pitched than it had been when he was alive. He hated the childish-sounding lisp he had been afflicted with.

He hated how he couldn’t swear or talk about adult topics without his voice being drowned out by an in-built censor.

He hated his body and its strange combination of wood and metal, both of which bent in ways that shouldn’t’ve been possible.

He hated his hands, soft and rounded and nailless.

He hated how he had spawned without genitals, completely smooth and sexless, like a doll.

He hated how no one perceived him as anything even remotely resembling a sexual being, even though he was a fully grown man who had once had his pick of beautiful women when he was alive.

He hated how he weighed almost nothing, making him easy for others to pick up or restrain.

He hated the way nothing in Hell was built to accommodate sinners his size, forcing him to climb (or be lifted onto) things as simple as chairs.

He hated the way his boss made him dress: in baggy outfits that made his smallness even more apparent, in children’s clothes, in silly, oh-so adorable costumes. He especially hated when she insisted on dressing him herself as though he were her doll.

He hated how often people mistook him for a child or deliberately talked down to him as though he was stupid just because of his ridiculous body.

He hated how people laughed at him and how he had no choice but to make them laugh in order to keep himself alive.

He hated how, in one fell swoop, Hell had robbed him of everything that had made him him. His good looks, his charisma, his respectability— everything. Never in a million years would he have anticipated that this would be his punishment for his misdeeds on Earth, for looking down on others and treating them like objects to be pushed around, but he had to admit, it was a pretty potent punishment nonetheless. And he would do anything to escape it.

---

Vox’s boss was kind of massively projecting her own resentments and trauma onto him. She didn’t actually know that much about him. It was pure luck that her impression of him as an arrogant chauvinist who had treated the people in his life poorly was… you know… accurate.

---

Vox realized that he had a voyeurism kink the third time his boss had sex with someone while he was still in the room. Probably not the outcome she intended, but it wasn’t like Vox could do anything about it anyway. He still felt sexual desire, but he’d spawned in Hell without genitals so that energy had nowhere to go. Just another lovely part of Vox’s Wonderful Afterlife.

---

Most sinners are horrified when they see their new forms for the first time. Vox was just devastated.

He was horrified when he first woke up, of course– transported to a strange new place, surrounded by giant monsters, and barely able to keep from swaying under the weight of his oversized head. No one paid him or his panic any mind save for a few smirks and chuckles. Vox found himself pressed up against a wall, out of the way of the flow of pedestrians, trying to process what was going on. Once he realized something was wrong with his body, he ducked into a nearby store, desperate to find a mirror (and get away from the crowds of fellow sinners). The store clerk let him in; they weren’t supposed to let newlydead into the shop since they usually just cause a scene, but Vox looked harmless, and they felt a little bad for such a tiny, fearful sinner. Vox made a beeline for the nearest mirror.

When his reflection finally came into view, Vox… he was lost for words. Seeing his childlike proportions, it finally registered that the world hadn’t gotten bigger; he’d gotten smaller. His body… there was something wrong with it. It was made of wood and metal like a puppet; only the materials seemed to bend like rubber. Worse than that, it was completely smooth and featureless; his genitals were simply gone. His hands were soft, rounded, and nailless, more like stuffed gloves than human hands. His head was encased— no, not encased, replaced with a television set that looked like it made up the majority of his body weight. Displayed on its screen was a face like something out of a cartoon: large, shiny, googly eyes, a wide mouth, and one conspicuously absent tooth. All topped off with a pair of floppy, overly long antennas that made him resemble some kind of insect.

Vox was speechless, staring at his new body. He felt tears bubbling up as he examined each part of it. He wasn’t sure how, but some part of him knew this wasn’t a dream and that this form would not be temporary. No tears fell though, trapped behind the glass of the— his screen. He couldn’t recall the moment of his death, but the realization of where he must be began to dawn on him. A soft, despairing sound escaped him, and Vox realized his voice, too, had been changed. He was not himself anymore, just this tiny, adorable thing, right out of one of the cartoons he’d been trying to repair the TV so his children could watch. A joke.

Suddenly, Vox felt someone grab him by the arm, dragging him away from the mirror, his feet barely brushing the floor. The owner had noticed a newlydead had snuck in and was having the prerequisite “What have I become?” freakout in their store. Carelessly, they shoved/threw Vox back onto the street and slammed the door behind them. Reeling, trying to wrap his mind around the gravity of the situation, Vox stumbled and collapsed on the sidewalk, surrounded by sinners who either stepped around him like he was nothing or paused for a moment to chuckle at the clumsy newlydead struggling to regain his balance under the weight of his massive head.

---

Vox's own shitty beliefs ended up being used against him during his early years in Hell.

In life, he'd treated his wife and son poorly because they complained about being unhappy with the way things were. Vox believed that if all your physical needs were met and you were able to live comfortably, you had no right to complain. He provided them with everything, and all he asked for in return was for them to be the happy, perfect wife and son he expected them to be. What was so hard about that?!

In death, the tables were turned. Vox was able to live comfortably in a safe environment, doing a job that most sinners would describe as incredibly cushy, but he was desperately unhappy. He was forced to play an inauthentic, demeaning role 24/7 and couldn't complain about it unless he wanted to be punished. Just sit there quietly and smile while the "grownups" are talking. No one wants to hear your silly little opinions. You should be grateful that you're even allowed to be here.

---

Words were Vox's boss' preferred weapon when it came to surreptitiously tormenting him, but she wasn't above using physical violence as a means of "discipline" either. Aside from the antenna and "storage" incidents, she'd occasionally employ "percussive maintenance" at the beginning of his time with her in response to breaks in character or sullen comments. Once or twice, she burnt him with cigarettes in response to particularly "bad" offenses.

---

Vox's boss would give him gifts sometimes. Little presents wrapped up all pretty with a bow. Sometimes, they were for special occasions, like the anniversary of his "coming to live with her"; sometimes, they were "rewards for good behavior." Vox would accept the presents graciously and then never open them, leaving them to collect dust in his room. There were a few occasions when she made him open them in front of her, though. Usually, they were just quaint little trinkets or clothes, but once, she gifted him a goldfish (or the Hellish equivalent) in a tiny bowl. It was the closest she'd gotten to something he'd actually want, yet it still felt like a veiled taunt. It didn't take long for the fish to die; its bowl was simply too small.

---

Vox does his absolute best to keep his past a secret from everyone, particularly Valentino. He knows on some level that it wouldn’t really change anything other than give Val and Vel something else to tease him about, but Vox’s ego is so fragile that he feels like he’d die if they found out. Unfortunately for him, Valentino is incredibly observant when he wants to be. He doesn’t know the specifics, but based on various little things from throughout the years and the pointed insults he’s heard Alastor throw at Vox, he can guess that Vox’s early days in Hell were... less than auspicious. However, he assumes Vox was just some corporate toady, and he would be just as shocked as anyone else to learn how Vox actually began his afterlife.

---

Playing with the idea that Vox’s boss hired him with no ulterior motives; she simply thought he was cute and would be an easy source of entertainment. However, as time went on and she got a better sense of what kind of person Vox was, she began deliberately tormenting him. The abuse and humiliation started off under the pretext that she was only doing it to “correct an attitude problem,” but it soon became clear that her real issue with Vox had nothing to do with his abilities as a performer.

---

It doesn’t really fit with the “lore” I’ve been putting together for this AU, but the idea of Vox trying to go in for various media/performance auditions and either being laughed out of them or told to look into less dignified roles is compelling to me. He looks and sounds so much like a goofy little child; why on Earth would anyone even consider him, especially when there are countless other sinners looking for work whose forms aren’t so distractingly cutesy?

I’ll be honest: Babydoll from Batman TAS is a significant influence on how I conceptualize Proto Vox.

---

Reminds me of fakeannafromthebox's Caterpillar Val AU. Vox is so miserable. He wants to be back in his modified body NOW, but it's going to take a while for them to rebuild it. Val and Vel tease him about it at first... until they realize that Vox is genuinely really hurt by it. He never wanted them to see him like this.

The denizens of Hell are confused as to why Vox is suddenly on a month-long hiatus when he's literally never taken a break from the media before.

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Been considering whether it should just be happenstance that brings Vox and Alastor together or if Vox should hit his breaking point, go behind his boss' back, and send Alastor a false message in her name, hoping that it will provoke him into killing her.

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Had a mental image today of Vox sitting in on one of his boss’ conversations with a colleague, as per usual. He’s bored and miserable until the two overlords start discussing the Radio Demon. Vox has heard stories— might’ve even caught one or two of Alastor’s broadcasts— but he’s never heard him discussed like an actual person rather than an urban legend. Vox’s boss starts shittalking Alastor, and Vox suddenly gets an idea. He begins secretly recording her, capturing all her private complaints about him on tape. Vox is terrified of what she might do if she discovered what he was doing, but at this point, he's so good at masking his true emotions that she doesn’t even notice anything is off. Vox held onto that recording until he gained access to a communications device. He hesitated for a moment, thinking of all the ways this plan could go wrong and result in his permanent death, but… he couldn’t pass up this opportunity. He couldn’t bear to stay here any longer.

Alastor figured out it was Vox who sent him that message a couple years into their friendship, but he didn’t hold it against him. In fact, he was impressed with Vox’s determination, taking his fate back into his hands regardless of the risks. He eventually told Vox so himself when the topic came up years later.

---

Vox once made the mistake of snapping that he was not a child at one of his boss’ colleagues who had been talking about him like he was too stupid to understand what they were saying. Honestly, the momentary shock on the colleague’s face was not worth the ensuing, agonizing conversation where his boss muted him, apologized to the other overlord, then prompted them to try to guess his real age, and took far too much pleasure in explaining to them that despite Vox’s appearance, he was actually 41.

---

Thinking about Proto Vox sitting in on his boss' overlord meetings like the Egg Bois in episode 3. Most of the time, his boss would hold him in her lap like a doll, but sometimes, she'd leave him sitting on the ground until the meeting ended. He wished he had a way to put the information he was “eavesdropping” on to good use, but he wasn't allowed to leave the stupid compound without being accompanied by his boss.

---

One particularly dehumanizing experience Vox remembers far more vividly than he would like was the first time his overlord stripped him naked without his consent so she could redress him in a new outfit she’d picked out. This became a semi-frequent occurrence, but it never stopped making his skin crawl. This sort of thing wasn’t supposed to happen to someone like him, and yet here he was, robbed not only of the freedom to choose his own clothes but even to dress himself if his boss so willed it.

Even over half a century later, Vox still needs to be coaxed and convinced by Valentino to surrender control during sex. He has no intention of ever telling Val why having someone else undress him puts him on edge.

---

cw sexual assault

The first time Vox’s overlord stripped him naked was also when she discovered that he had no genitals. Of course, she couldn’t let that fact go uncommented on and groped between his legs to confirm, cooing all the while about how perfect Vox was. Vox didn’t even have time to dissociate during the experience; it all happened so fast. Before he had time to process what happened, he was already being redressed in whatever stupid outfit she’d picked out for him that time. The dissociation came later.

In hindsight, Vox thinks it’s sort of darkly funny how he felt as though he’d been sexually assaulted despite not having any sex organs at the time. It’s really not.

---

Thank you!!!

Yeah, Vox is extremely uncomfortable with thinking of himself as a victim. It's easier to just compartmentalize the experience and tell himself that of course he wasn't sexually assaulted– sex wasn't even involved!

At the time, he had no idea how to feel about it. Before he even had time to process the event, he was expected to just move on with the day like nothing happened. Vox wished he could've just forgotten about it– it only lasted for a few seconds, it "didn't count" because he didn't have any genitals to grope, and, in his successful-white-1950s-man brain, groping wasn't even that bad anyway– but the feeling of violation lingered, no matter how hard he tried to dismiss it or distract himself. He eventually managed to push those feelings away, but the memory will still pop up on occasion and he'll have to convince himself all over again that it wasn't any different than all the other times his boss manhandled him.

---

Oh, I'm glad you liked the post!

Yeah, I can see Alastor giving that roach speech to Vox when he's trying to convince him to stop modifying himself. Vox is just like "You think I'm a bug???" He never noticed; he was too focused on the cartoon/TV thing. Message not received.

Alastor probably has weird feelings about the way Vox's old boss treated him. On one hand, it's kind of funny, and Alastor's clearly not opposed to treating people like pets, given his later relationship with Husk. On the other... he feels a weird sort of kinship with Vox in so many regards, and his relationship with his overlord... [leak discussion] it's uncomfortably similar to Alastor's with his contract holder– tricked into a bad deal, treated with condescension, and forced to pretend to adore them in public [end leak discussion]. Alastor likes the idea of helping Vox gain power and rise above his station, but not him changing himself in order to accomplish that goal– he sees too much of himself in Vox to stand that.

Vox doing ad reads/voiceovers for Alastor's show is a great idea. Perfect way to get back into the industry without opening himself up to mockery; plus, he's got a wonderful voice. Would also give him another reason to hate radio once he and Al split: audio-only work will always be a reminder of a time when he couldn't bear to be seen.

---

Might incorporate how long it’s taking me to come up with a name for Vox’s boss by making it so he’s only allowed to call her “Ma’am”/“Madam”/“Miss” instead of her actual sinner name.

---

Thoughts on Proto Vox in the RAM verse

Proto Vox thoughts that heavily feature my OCs

---

Once he finally gained the ability to project a functioning mouth onto his screen, Vox got himself into some… interesting situations trying to keep up with Alastor whenever they went out for drinks. He didn’t care that he was half Alastor’s size; he’s drinking just as much as he is! Maybe even more!!

Those were some of the funniest nights Alastor had (and still has) ever experienced.

---

Thinking about Vox, dead for a week or so, with cracks in his screen and dressed only in a button-up shirt he'd stripped off a corpse double his size, pitching himself to his soon-to-be overlord and trying not to come across as desperate as he truly was. The streets of Hell aren't kind to anyone, but especially not to defenseless-looking, newly arrived sinners with body parts that could potentially be resold. In his short time in Hell, Vox had already had multiple people try to strip him for parts and had only escaped them by the skin of his teeth. He'd barely been able to sleep since he arrived, constantly on guard for more attackers. He looked a fucking wreck, but that only added to his charm, in his boss' opinion. He looked like a starving Victorian orphan trying to give a serious business pitch– so cute!

---

Vox wishes he could feel comfortable in his bedroom at the compound. Being in there means he’s away from his overlord— that he can finally drop the act and just breathe. It’s a nice room, too, especially compared to the living quarters of most other employees. Vox feels as though the privacy and comfort should be enough. But… it isn’t really his room, is it?

His overlord chose the decor: soft and twee and old-fashioned. She can start pounding on the door, ordering him to come out and join her at any moment. The fact she’s too tall to fit in the room is small comfort. It feels like living in a dollhouse; there’s the illusion of privacy, but one wall is missing, allowing the owner to move things around or snatch up the doll inside at a moment’s notice.

---

Honestly, Vox's boss definitely got her "money's" worth out of Vox. He wasn't lying about being a multi-talented performer; he had a wide array of skills.

He had extensive training and experience with dance and comedy (although he was 25 years out of practice) from his childhood on Vaudeville. He was a consummate singer, good at improv, and familiar with a handful of instruments, particularly the piano. He could act fairly well (although he was always more convincing when he came up with stuff on the spot) and had even become a perfect mimic due to his demonic form.

Vox's overlord couldn't have asked for a better entertainer, and she counted herself lucky that he just happened to wander into her building one day looking for work– she didn't even need to place an ad!

Vox was proud of his various skills– he sure as hell hadn't spent years working himself to the bone to hone them for nothing, after all– but he missed being the host rather than the entertainment. He hadn't had to perform like this since he was a child, and it was just as exhausting as he remembered.

---

Vox's primary job was to be a jester for his overlord, but he was also somewhat of an assistant to her. He'd make or serve her and her guests drinks (alcohol, coffee, whatever), carry things for her (which would often be embarrassingly difficult, given his size), and run very minor errands for her (usually just delivering messages to employees a few doors down). Additionally, once she discovered that he could record audio, she started using him as a living tape recorder. She'd bring him to meetings, have him record the conversation without the other party knowing, and then play the audio back once they were in private so she could take note of the exact phrasing and use it against them later on. This last use for Vox ended up being her downfall; she kept him so cloistered that she never thought that he'd be able to use her own words against her one day.

---

Up until the incident where he tried to quit, Vox’s boss would sometimes casually threaten to replace him if he didn’t immediately bend to her will. There were countless other sinners and Hellborn that were perfectly capable of doing his job without an attitude problem; why shouldn’t she just trade him in for one of them? Or perhaps she should employ another entertainer to work alongside him (i.e. compete with him). If Vox thought he was too good for this job, then he could go back to the streets whenever he liked. These threats almost always succeeded in getting him to comply, and she was a bit disappointed when she realized they were no longer as effective as they’d once been.

---

Honestly, Vox’s boss getting another “pet” would be a whole shitshow. When Vox was alive, he once outed a coworker as gay because he was getting more airtime than him, which led to the coworker’s family institutionalizing him. And that was when the stakes were just career success. Vox may hate his job, but it’s what keeps him safe and alive. He’d feel so threatened by the new person that he’d probably end up getting them killed just to protect his position. His overlord is 100% aware of what's going on, but she gets a kick out of watching Vox do whatever it takes to stay in her favor.

---

Vox actually starts initiating affectionate interactions with her out of desperation not to be replaced. His boss (who lowkey only wanted make sure he didn’t grow complacent in his position) is delighted. The poor imp she hired has no idea what they’ve been sucked into. Vox is cold and hostile when they’re in private but then will turn on a dime the second he sees their overlord. Their boss is constantly doing subtle little things to pit them against each other, but the imp feels like they never truly had a chance of surpassing and replacing Vox. All the imp wants to do is make enough to feed their family, but in the end, all they get is being ripped in two by vines when Vox snitches on them for taking a few extra bucks from his boss’ desk.

---

In the modern day, Vox and Alastor disagree about how they met. Alastor will say that he rescued Vox from his overlord and took him in afterward. Vox will say (or rather, would say, since he never speaks about his past) that he rescued his damn self and chose to stick with Alastor because it was the best possible option at the time. Neither of them are wrong, but their mutual bitterness skews their perception of the situation; Vox, the "helpless charity case," and Alastor, the "means to an end."

---

velvette seeing the kind of clothes vox used to have to wear for work and just. vomiting on his behalf

---

Vox thought he was at a bit of an advantage when his soon-to-be boss offered him a simple deal sealed with a handshake: serve as an entertainer for her and she'll give him a safe place to live. Verbal agreements aren't as enforceable as written ones, and the vagueness of the deal left him plenty of room to wriggle his way out if need be!

What Vox didn't realize was that things in Hell don't work like they do on Earth. Sure, vague deals have loopholes, but it's the person with more power who's usually able to take advantage of them as opposed to the "victim." Additionally, written contracts have clauses– specific stipulations that must be abided by. If he'd negotiated things a bit more closely, he could've demanded that she allow him freedom of mobility or had to accept any attempts at a resignation. As is, she was able to keep him at her side at all times and threaten him into staying because there wasn't anything in the deal that said she couldn't do those things; as long as she was giving him a place to stay, she was upholding her end of the bargain.

Vox definitely remembered this lesson when he started drawing up contracts/deals of his own during his later endeavors. Deals can be just as binding as soul contracts. Vagueness is an invaluable tool when it comes to tricking people into bad deals, although granular specificity certainly has a place too, so long as you can get the sucker not to read the fine print.

---

Out of all the things Vox had to do to entertain his overlord, slapstick was his least favorite. It was just so undignified. He already hated having to play dumb and childish, but being the butt of the joke was so much worse than simply being doted on. He couldn’t stand being laughed at, but he didn’t have another choice; if his boss wanted comedy, he had to give it to her, otherwise he’d be punished. For as much baggage he had regarding dance, he would chose it over pretending to hurt himself (or genuinely hurting himself) for his boss’ amusement every time.

This hatred of being laughed at persisted even after he escaped his overlord’s clutches. Vox eventually learned to use his unthreatening appearance to his advantage, but back in the day, a good way to get your shit rocked by the Radio Demon’s tiny apprentice was to laugh at him when he wasn’t trying to be funny.

---

As of right now, Vox's sinner name has always been "Vox." He's eternally grateful that he'd already picked out his sinner name by the time he approached his overlord, because who knows what ridiculous name she would've saddled him with otherwise. However, if Vivziepop ever talks about Cockroach Vox and it turns out he didn't used to be named "Vox," then that name would've been the one he went by up until he met Alastor.

---

Vox was not an overly foul-mouthed person when he was alive, although he certainly wasn't afraid to swear if the situation called for it. However, that casual relationship with tasteful speech went completely out the window after he died. Aside from the in-built censor that kept him from audibly cursing or talking about subjects like sex, he now had a very restrictive persona that he needed to play into. Having to say shit like "Gee whiz" or "Golly" in order to keep up the "cute little cartoon" act was maddening. It was such a relief when Alastor figured out a way to shut off the censor; Vox finally had complete freedom in how he chose to speak again. Honestly, he may have gone a bit too far in the other direction, but given the culture of Hell, it's more unusual to be excessively clean with your speech than it is to swear every other sentence.

---

I wonder if any of the other, older overlords remember Vox from his early days. His boss had a habit of bringing him to meetings and having him perform at parties, so someone like Zestial would’ve probably encountered him at least a couple of times.

On one hand, Vox is beyond grateful that none of the old-timers recognize him as “Lantana’s little lapdog.” On the other, he’s slightly offended that no one paid him enough mind back then to remember him.

Zestial 100% knows who Vox used to be, he’s just choosing to keep that information to himself for the time being.

---

Thinking about a scenario where Vox gets stuck in a hopelessness spiral that causes him to break character in front of his boss. He asks her why she’s doing this to him; what does she get out of all this? Lantana is annoyed by his self-pity and asks him if he has any idea how lucky he is.

Oh, poor Vox, forced to live in the lap of luxury. Condemned to perform wholesome little routines for one of the most powerful overlords in the city while other sinners (female and male) have to prostitute themselves to survive. What an awful fate, having to let her spoil him, love him. Countless sinners would kill to have half of what he has, and here he is complaining because his ego is too fragile to handle not being “in charge” anymore. She’s shocked he’s so ungrateful that he can’t appreciate the gift she’s given him; childhood is a beautiful thing, after all.

Vox knows it’s all lies— she enjoys humiliating him, forcing him to smile through gritted teeth as he plays the demeaning role she’s picked out for him— but after years in her clutches, a small, animal part of his brain wonders if she’s right. Is she being honest when she says she only hurts him to correct him? Does she actually believe that taking away his freedom and keeping him in a gilded cage is love? Is he really better off here than he would be out in the world, struggling to force people to see him as the man he really was used to be?

No. No, he can’t let her get in his head like this. He’s had to give up so much of himself to her; she can’t have his thoughts too. Just don’t say anything. Let her think she’s made him second-guess himself. Don’t allow her to wrestle what little control he has left from his grasp.

---

Vox’s slogan, “Trust us!” started off as “Trust me!” After a while with Alastor, Vox learned to start playing into his harmless appearance in order to gain people’s trust, only to lead them to their deaths or otherwise betray them later on. Most people thought he was either a literal child, stupid, or so weak that they could easily overpower him if need be, so it was easy for him to convince them to let their guards down. Vox managed to get his first few contracts using this method. Trust him! He couldn’t hurt a fly, honest!

Alastor loved this routine, not only because it was hilarious to watch people unknowingly dig their own graves, but because it was useful to him as well. Alastor’s reputation had become so fearsome that it was difficult to get people to stick around long enough to ensnare unless they were truly desperate. It was helpful to have Vox around to lure people in, or to just run errands that would’ve otherwise been a pain due to people’s annoying habit of fleeing at the sight of him. They were a good team, he and Vox; Alastor couldn’t understand why he would choose to give that up in order to become an off-brand copy of him. Yes, it wasn’t the most dignified niche, but it was an important one! And one that very few could pull off even half as well as Vox!

---

Random thought: Vox’s original voice made it impossible for others to tell whether he was a child or an adult. He didn’t quite sound like a real child, but his voice was pitched in such a way that he didn’t read as an adult either— sort of like when adult voice actors play kids. Vox could still hear Himself in certain inflections and in moments when he was allowed to drop the act, but it was extremely alienating, never truly feeling like himself even when he was doing something as simple as speaking.

---

I don’t subscribe to the “Valentino started off with his own abusive pimp” theory (not because I think it’s implausible, it’s just that my HC version of him only worked under the previous overlord of the sex trade for like a year before killing them), plus I think Vox and Val met after Vox was already somewhat established, but whoo-boy, the two of them meeting while they’re both still under the thumbs of their respective abusive bosses would be fun.

---

Two concepts:

Vox’s boss brings him along to an overlord party that Val happens to be performing at. Some drunk dumbass picks him up and shoves him onto the platform where Val was pole dancing— they thought it’d be funny to make the sexless little clown interact with the dirty whore. That was Vox and Val’s first meeting. (Loosely inspired by some of kibbles-bits’ art)

Vox and Val’s respective bosses start up a casual relationship, resulting in the two of them visiting each other’s bases semi-frequently. They get to talking and eventually come to realize that, holy shit, the other guy is an actual person?? And a fun/interesting/clever person too???

---

Vox: Yeah, my #%$!@ of a boss makes me sleep with her sometimes. Val: Ohhhh, me too! Well, at least Mantis Bitch is sexy~ Vox: What? No, I mean she literally makes me sleep in the same bed as her. Like kids do with stuffed dolls. Val: …Huh. Well, I guess that must be somebody’s kink. Vox: $?*@&€# %*¥=…

---

Self-indulgent 4 am whump thought (cw involuntary surgery)

what if proto vox spawned with his childhood leg injury intact? it’s usually not an issue as long as he doesn’t exert himself, but his new job requires him to spend most of the day standing and perform physically intense routines for his boss. for the first several weeks, he doesn’t let on that he’s in pain since he’s terrified of being thrown back out on the streets, but eventually, either his boss confronts him about why he’s suddenly developing a limp or he makes the mistake of mentioning it to her himself, hoping he can convince her to be a bit more restrained with her orders. either way, when vox explains that he’s had this issue since he was a child and that there’s no way to get rid of it, lantana just casually says that she’ll see to it, no problem. vox is concerned by her self-assured tone, but when he asks her what she meant, she abruptly changes the subject with a finality that tells him this is not a matter to be debated.

for the next week, vox is left wondering what she intends on doing. just as he was starts to forget about it, he gets his answer. one day, vox wakes up to find himself in an operating room-turned workshop, held to the table by a few flimsy straps and a nurse(?) gently restraining him. there’s no need to be frightened! they’re just going to see if there’s anything they can do to fix his leg, that’s all. vox tries to reign in his panic as the head doctor examines his leg, but it soon reaches a fever pitch when it’s determined they can repair the damage! by replacing the “bone.”

it’s painful, having someone saw through several layers of his wires, but not as painful as vox imagined it would be. the horror of watching it happen, though, makes it all so much worse. watching someone reach into the mess of his leg and slowly pull out a long, metal rod is like something out of a nightmare. the “surgeons” measure and examine the rod (his bone), then cut a replacement to his size and insert it back into his leg. his wires (his flesh) quickly knit back together with only a bit of help from the doctors, and suddenly vox is back on his feet, being told to return to work as though he didn’t just watch his own leg “bone” be forcibly cut out and replaced.

it taught him that his body could be modified. he never had to deal with his old injury again. vox chooses to focus on these things rather than the absolute terror he felt watching them operate on his leg. he doesn’t need (doesn’t want) to think about the experience itself, only the outcome.

---

3am thought: Vox at the beginning of his employment, trying to figure out what his boss’ limits are and what he can get away with. He’s not thrilled that her idea of “entertainment” seems to mostly consist of song, dance, and comedy, so he starts trying to engage her in conversation instead. Vox is a great conversationalist, and he knows it. His plan is to pull her in, convince her that they have some kind of genuine connection, and then use that to his advantage. That plan is dashed though when, after two or three attempts at engaging her in substantial, adult conversation, she cuts him off and briskly tells him that she didn’t hire him for his conversational skills, she hired him to entertain. If she wanted to hear him speak, she would tell him, but right now, it’d be prudent of him to shut up and do as he’d been told.

---

Random wondering: What would it take for Vox to finally snap? Or would he just become so good at staying in-character that he appears to have snapped/given up to everyone around him?

Idea: Alastor acquiring Vox after he’s cracked and fully given into his boss after decades in her service. It’s only with Alastor that Vox slowly starts pulling himself back together, allowing elements of his original/real personality to re-emerge. Alastor doesn’t even mean to do this; he just treats Vox with a modicum more respect than he’s used to and gives him positive feedback when he acts more like himself. Vox idolizes Alastor for “saving him from madness,” so of course he flies off the handle when they have their falling out.

---

Vox was lucky his body operated on rubber hose physics. The size difference between him and his boss was so extreme that if it didn’t, she could’ve easily shattered his bones (if he had any) or dislocated his limbs, simply by handling him too roughly. All the better. She was usually fairly gentle, but since she knew she could treat him like a rag doll, occasionally, she did. It hurts, dangling in the air by the arm while the person holding you gives you whiplash every time they move too suddenly, but not as much as it would for an organic demon.

---

Three random thoughts:

1) I checked, and the height-difference between Proto Vox and his boss (and Valentino) is directly proportional to that of the tallest and smallest women in the world.

2) Shirley Temple would probably be a good inspiration for Proto Vox’s style of performance.

3) It could be interesting to play with the way Vox’s innocent and wholesome persona would interact with Hell’s general culture. Lantana kept him pretty desexed and infantilized while at “home,” but when she made him perform for groups, the comedy of the routine would be derived from contrast. Most demons wouldn’t get the appeal of his usual schtick played straight, but contrast that cutesy shit with Hell’s usual fixations (sex, profanity, and violence)? Now there’s something worth laughing about. It’s like teasing a fallen cherub.

---

the mental image of lantana telling vox to “go play” at a party will not leave me

“darling” “baby” “sweetheart” “dear”

i am slowly giving in to the whump urges

---

random fact: the way vox is treated by his boss in this au is heavily inspired by the way some imps (particularly the smaller ones) seem to be treated in the hellaverse

---

thinking about the first time lantana struck vox.

it was just so unexpected. vox could hardly even remember the last time someone had hit him— maybe when he was a rowdy young twenty-something? his parents had occasionally struck him as a child, but that was rare.

a week or two before, he’d made a comment that was a bit too sullen for her liking and she’d suddenly grabbed his arm, striking it once with an object like a schoolteacher with a misbehaving student. it’d caught vox off guard, but it was more shocking than painful, and lantana instantly moved on like nothing had happened. he didn’t expect things to escalate so quickly.

he spoke out of turn— that’s what prompted it. he’d been listening to his boss discuss business matters with an associate, and he’d tried throwing in his two cents. it was still early on; vox was testing what he could and couldn’t get away with and had thought the two of them might find his feedback worthwhile. he was wrong. he’d only gotten a couple words out before he was suddenly knocked to the floor by a blow from one of his boss’ lower arms. she didn’t even say anything, just returning to her conversation while he was left stunned on the ground.

when the colleague finally left, lantana picked vox up, sat him on her desk so they were at least somewhat closer to eye level, and laid out exactly what she expected from him from now on. he would not speak unless spoken to when in the company of others; she brought him along to these meetings to be visual stress relief, not to participate. on that note, he would not talk to her about business at all. she had no interest in his opinions, and going forward, she would not hesitate to discipline him if he kept trying to stick his nose where it didn’t belong. finally, and most importantly, he needed to remember his role. he was there to entertain her— to be a sweet, silly little distraction from the stresses of overlordship, and she expected him to act like it. it didn’t matter if she wasn’t playing with him right at that very moment, he was still “on the clock.” amuse her when she wasn’t busy, sit quietly and look cute when she was, and above all, stay in character. she would strike him as many times as was necessary in order to get that through his head, and would throw him out if he still refused to comply.

lantana asked if she was understood, and vox, terrified of returning to the streets, agreed. he left the room hating her, but also felt a strange, unwanted sense of embarrassment that he had overstepped to the point where she decided she “needed to” hit him. he should’ve known better. this woman was not to be “trusted” any more than she was to be manipulated.

---

Random thought: Proto Vox's unofficial theme would be "Make 'Em Laugh" from Singin' in the Rain

---

was thinking about female or trans male proto vox recently and got to wondering what lantana would be like in that scenario since i've made gender dynamics such a big part of her character. came up with a few different options.

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#Just infuriating things about being three feet tall in a world where the average height is 6’6: door knobs.

Vox had three options when encountering a closed door back in his early days: knock and hope someone on the other side heard him, ask a nearby person to open it for him (which always made his skin crawl), or try to figure out a way to reach it on his own. The worst was when someone saw him struggling to reach the door knob, took pity on him, and opened the door for him, usually with a condescending comment tacked on at the end. It was such a blessing once he finally unlocked his electricity/teleportation powers and didn't have to deal with that crap anymore.

---

Random cheesy idea: Three moments in Vox’s life when the phrase “children should be seen and not heard” was relevant. The first is a time his parents applied it to him, the second is a time he said it about his own children, and the third is his boss using it against him in Hell.

---

thinking about option 2 vox. she says something snappish to her boss about not being a child. next time they go out, the clothes lantana gives her to wear are different than usual: clothes that are exactly to her taste from back when she was alive. they're somewhat oversized.

vox looks ridiculous with her stylish, refined dress hanging awkwardly on her sexless wooden frame. she's sliding around in too-large heels, and the gloves reach all the way to her shoulders, sagging pitifully around her arms. she looks like a child playing dress up; a little girl wearing her mother's clothes. it was like a slash to the heart, seeing herself like this; knowing that even if she had the freedom to choose how she dressed, she would always look like a joke.

the cocktail dress and heels got her laughed at and mocked more than usual. the pinafores and bows just made people gush about how adorable she was sometimes. it was easy to see which was the better option.

it was years before vox felt comfortable enough to start occasionally dressing her age again. alice wouldn't mock her for choosing to dress as an adult. she'd mock her for a whole lot of other things, but at least they were never tied to her appearance (aside from her peculiar modern head, of course!).

---

I know I said this verse’s Vox died while trying to fix a TV, but what if he still got electrocuted on set, but instead of a quick little zap, there was a massive, cartoonish explosion

---

Idea regarding the "storage" incident: The thing that prompted that confrontation was another overlord/business associate showing an interest in Vox. They were involved in the movie industry and thought they could put him to good use in their films, so they asked Lantana if they could purchase him or even just rent him out for a bit. Vox was thrilled– finally, a chance to get back into the industry and out of this fucking building! And it'd just fallen right into his lap! He immediately tried to say "yes," but Lantana cut him off and turned down the offer. She had no intention of giving him up, so she wouldn't let him get away that easily. Vox was pissed when she said "no." He usually held his tongue when his boss did something that upset him, but he was not about to let this person who didn't even own his soul take away this opportunity. He dropped his cutesy persona, demanded she give him a reason he couldn't go, and then tried to accept the other overlord's offer. Lantana sharply grabbed him by the arm, saying something along the lines of "Because you still haven't learned to do as you're told." She denied her now rather uncomfortable associate once again and asked them to leave. Vox tried to shout to them as they turned to leave, but Lantana just muted him, then started twisting his antenna when he tried to unmute himself. Once the other overlord was gone, Vox exploded at Lantana and tried to quit right then and there, but of course, she wasn't going to let that happen. Once he was let out of "storage," Vox was too scared of what else she might do to him to try to quit/escape again (at least, not openly).

#redlady speaks #proto vox au #hazbin hotel #vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #vox hazbin #vox the tv demon #2013 vox #cockroach vox #alastor #radiosilence #radiostatic

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nuetralizedevangelist · 1 year ago

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❝playing a dangerous game.❞ || william h. bonney x f!reader

inspired by playing dangerous by lana del rey <33

| WARNINGS- daddy issues (yikes), kissing, unhealthy amounts of the color pink, mentions of getting shot, small suicidal thoughts

billy the kid x reader fluff

(divider by @dollienini)

she was as pure as snow, untouched by man, not yet trampled or turned into slush. her father sought to that daily, to ensure his daughter was ‘safe’. but safe doesn’t mean loved. she got her loving from outside sources, like maple spouts in the woods, going out with her girls, or in this case, the loving lap of an outlaw.

she’s sitting on his right thigh while the outlaw, named billy, is continuing his game of poker. a game she’ll never understand, her father deemed that an unnecessary topic for a lady to learn. but what did he even deem?

she’s giggling and offering her thanks to every compliment that floats her way, she can’t outrun them. they’ll always find her in a frilly pink dress. the pit in her stomach feels as if every compliment and disdainful comment adds ten pounds, until she’s swallowed up and feels like a piece of meat.

but billy wouldn’t let that happen. what’s different about billy is that he cares, he cares if she’s uncomfortable, he cares when she’s upset over her overbearing father, and he even wills himself to care when she complains about something that would never bother him. her champagne problems.

she’s sitting on her blush pink bedspread and fidgeting with whatever laid on her shelf. she was grounded, again, for coming home after sunset. billy and her simply lost track of time, but he’d never pay for it. right as she begins to spiral into the boredom and weigh the merits of suicide, a small tap against her window reaches her ears.

her face lights up at the noise and she rushes to unlock her window and swing it open. her room was on the ground floor but it was still a jump for him, his long legs stepping in as quietly as possible. her arms found purchase around his waist as she lightly jumped up and down. “billy! i was gettin’ so damn bored. my father grounded me again so i’m stuck here.” he sucked on his teeth and set his hat down on your desk before taking a seat on your bed and laying back.

“his mistake, leavin’ his pretty daughter alone with the maids while he’s out shooting my friends? better hope’d i’m not next on his list.” his voice is honey to your ears, making you skin feel warmer and leaving your stomach fluttering. it was bound to happen whenever he was around.

she sat next to him and their thighs touched before she realized how gruesomely underdressed she was. in only a sheer sleeping gown with her thin robe, she panicked. he’d only seen her in her full gowns. covered head to toe, yet here she was in front of him. he wasn’t even looking at her, his eyes closed and his head faced towards the ceiling.

“i tried convincing him that it’s not the sheriffs job to chase after you, better save him the face when you get away.” her voice is small while she studies his outfit. it’s different than usual, he was wearing a different shirt. and his boots were free of the mud and caked manure. did he clean up for her? he hummed an agreement and chuckled at her comment.

“did you…did you clean up to come see me, billy?” she says in a teasing tone while poking his shoulder. he covers his face and groans rolling away from her as she laughs and pulls him back. he uncovers his eyes and looks up at her. she just looks so pretty and clean. he’s almost scared he’ll break her- as if she’s porcelain.

she takes his hand in hers and soothingly rubs her thumb back and forth. “that’s really sweet that you cleaned up. adorable, actually.” there it is again, she says something like that and his stomach is doing flips. “well, they do call me the sweetest man in the west for a reason.” he manages to sound confident but internally he might as well as died.

she lays down next to him and props her head up on her hand. god, the way her hair falls, the way the candles behind her make her look like some biblical figure, and the way she somehow always manages to get a laugh out of him.

“i know you’re scared of my father and all but i really like spending time with you, billy. you’re different from other men i’ve known. you don’t make me feel like i’m heading for the butcher. you make me feel really happy.” she whispers out, acting as if she raised her voice he might disappear.

he ignores the ‘other men i’ve known’ to cease the bubbling jealousy inside of his chest. he props his head up the same way as her until they’re eye-to-eye. his free hand goes to fiddle with the lace of her robe as he’s trying to will himself to look into her eyes, like she’s a prettier medusa.

“you’re playing a dangerous game, angel. troubles gonna follow where i go. but i have loved every second i’ve spent with you and i’d like them to never end. my life isn’t safe for you though, you’ll get hurt and it’ll probably drive me to murder.” he jokes at the end but his words still soaked into herskin like a warm brandy.

she sits up and leans her face into his, gently meeting his lips. it was only for a second, but she was on fire. his hand reaches the back of her, braided and curled as usual, and pushes her lips back onto his. his hands cupping the sides of her face. so gentle. like a man should be.

she pulls the hem of her dress up and moves to straddle him, not breaking the kiss, which is heating up and he’s beginning to kiss down her neck when her door flys open “miss, do you have any-” her maid is stood in the door with a look of shock and the tomatoes she was previously holding ended up on the floor.

the girl scrambled up and grabbed the maids shoulders “don’t tell father about this and i swear to god i will do your work for a week, i’ll even pay you just please, please, do not tell father.” the maid nods slowly and picks up the tomatoes. a small smile playing at her lips.

billy’s covering his face and she was about to comfort him but he started laughing. genuinely clutching his stomach laughing, and she joined him. she sank to her knees on the floor and just laughed. “do you think she’ll really make you do her work for a week?” he managed to wheeze out. she holds her head in her hands and nods “oh, definitely! she never wants to work anyways.”

they were gravely embarrassed and her father will definitely find out, but at the end of the day, it’s always billy.

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devicecontact · 13 days ago

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Buhh uhh relationship chart thing. Lots more in depth under the cut. All subject to change but this is how it is rn. Their main post for more context here

SB’S VIEW OF OTHERS

SB is much more critical of other dissenters than they are of normal grunts, so they approach characters like doc, deimos, and other fellows with more judgment than they do to Sanford n such

DOC: They respect how good of a leader he is to SQ. While they don’t really care about the goals of SQ and just want a place to stay and a job to do, they respect the work doc puts into it and how managed it is. SB came from the most poorly managed aahw facility ever, so this is an incredibly appreciated aspect of SQ and doc. They respect the grind pretty much. Doc being a dissenter that got his shit figured out is another thing that SB thinks is commendable. But once they learn about Hank somtimes working with SQ, they get very upset with doc and feel almost betrayed. Especially when they aren’t even told why Hank works with them. They act all pissy and silent treatmenty towards doc for awhile untill they are given their ultimatum to either act normal about Hank or Leave SQ, and they react like a kicked puppy. It does not feel good to have one of the few guys you respect to be upset with you, but they are still very unhappy and mad about the Hank ordeal. They get all quiet and suck uppy for a brief moment because they feel bad. Things do go back to normal pleasent terms eventually, but it takes awhile.

SANFORD: Sanford isn’t a dissenter so SB feels no sense of camaraderie or tension with Sanford. They just know that he does missions well and dosent have any mistakes come back on mission report documents. They think of him pretty neutrally, but would vouch for the guy in a postive manner if they had to.

DEIMOS: ooo someone’s a little jealous ooo. But only a little. SB views deimos like a guy that is carefree, has a life set up well, and has a good buddy to go along with (Sanford). Compared to SBs situation it feels like Deimos got the Good Ending to being a dissenter. SB dosent hate Deimos for this because he seems like an alright guy that does his work well, but they do feel a bit of envy. It’s contradictory of SB to see Deimos as a dissenter with his life more in order than him and feel jealous, but to see Doc in a similar position and feel respect for him. He never realizes this.

HANK: AM hate speech etc etc. SB really really hates Hank. Well, they at least think they really hate Hank. They can’t tell if their hate of Hank is real or not and that frustration alone makes them project even more anger towards them. Ontop of the preprogrammed aahw feelings towards Hank that SB has, they also just project all their lives gripes and poor experiences onto him too. Their bad dissenting experince? Wouldn’t have happened if Hank wasn’t around to make the agency exist. The awful conflicting emotions they feel and how it’s tanking their rapport with SQ? Wouldn’t haven’t happened if Hank didn’t work with SQ. Their dislike of Hank spirals far beyond just negative feelings towards another person, as it prominently eclipses with their struggles with their identity that they never properly addressed untill Hank appeared at SQ. It’s a convoluted mess that makes it incredibly hard to tell what part of how they feel is real or attributed what aspect of their life. After a longg time they just hate it a normal amount. (They can bear to stand in a room with it and they only side eye glare a little! No teeth clenching, fists balling, shaking etc. now! Improvement!)

————

HOW OTHERS VIEW SB

Interaction is sparse to none between SB and most of the cast so there isn’t much for them to go off of or care about. Doc is the only one to know them by name.

DOC: To Doc SB is a bit interesting due to their unique status of being a mish mash of soldat and engineer. They preform their job well in a unique way due to their faulty training, so it would be a loss to have to fire them. So when SB starts acting up and being a concern, Doc is annoyed with them and gives them the ultimatum hoping to smooth things out. SB appears to be losing their shit a over it but does seem to be at least trying to get better, so doc just pitties them a little. It’s frustrating for them to act this way, but it is an understandable situation. Beyond the occasional tip or check in, Doc just kinda shrugs and lets them work it out on their own. He’s pleased to see it’s fine in the end and just has a normal boss and employee thing with them.

SANFORD: SB is just a guy they see at HQ somtimes that acts kinda weird. He isn’t doing anything bad so shrug wheteva.

DEIMOS: Deimos sometimes notices them staring at him and then they awkwardly pretended like they weren’t. He has no real opinion on the guy but they look a little funny so that’s something.

HANK: They aren’t even aware of SB. Even if he did know about SB and his hatred, it wouldn’t care at all. This is the most one sided relationship possible.

guys it’s okay!

#scary to post these things I’ve never made one before #I am not very good at like actually making characters beyond having an idea for a concept #so this really was more an exercise in trying to flesh them out beyond just the outline I have for them #I like to make my media ocs be able to exist within a bubble to the main story like. a person In the world rather than in the story #it makes for some uninteresting interactions but oh well. love you medias that allow me to do it yeaaaah #my art #oc #oc shitboy #madcom #madness combat #madness combat oc

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themellowminx · 6 months ago

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After the Fire Dies ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ MDNI

———-> fyodor x reader x dazai

You made a mistake, how will you repent?

< After the actual smut, but still suggestive content, not proof read >

“S-seven…” You could hardly feel anymore, sweat clung to your body and your breaths came in panting gasps, all you could think about was how bad you had fucked up, was that really only a few hours ago? When Dazai was holding you so tightly, gripping you in all the right places. But now, your blood dripped from the slim slashes across your thighs and stained the white bedsheets, you struggled against your restraints, straining your arm to push the silky, black, blindfold off your eyes.

“So, malishka,” You could hear the grin in his smooth voice as he teased you with that special pet name, baby, not slut, or whore, but baby. He knew you’d get it wrong. You were almost certain that even if you did guess right, they wouldn't stop. “Who was touching you just now? Who made you cum?” Sucking in as much air as possible, limbs heavy, nose stuffed and tears streaked your poor, flushed face.

“You–Fedya.” A self-satisfied hmm came from one of them, you guess Dazai by the tone. Instantly you regretted your decision. ‘Wait–actually–”

“Too late, you already made a choice.” Dazai was speaking now, his voice lacked the accent that you loved so much, but still carried such a lustful melody. Suddenly the blindfold was slowly peeled off and you squinted your tear-filled eyes to the destroyed bedroom. Frantically looking at your lover, Fyodor, for approval, you were met with both men smirking down at you. So pretty. They were both so beautiful, where Fedya was slim angles and sharp bones, pale skin and striking, sharp eyes, Dazai was stronger, softer, still lean but bigger, not as deathly-pale and a mop of curly brown hair with matching honey eyes. They made a lovely pair, and had ruined you beyond comprehension.

“Ding ding ding!” Dazai sang out, hopping on the bed next to you.

“Good job malishka, how’d you know?” You guessed correctly? Finally! Honestly part of it was dumb luck but…

“You get…when you get tired you get softer, and you also kept licking the blood from my thighs, I figured Dazai would do that too but he’s inclined to be more–well–rough.” You looked down sheepishly. Fyodor pat your head and undid the restraints on your wrists and ankles, now you realized just how exposed you had been. A puddle of liquid, cum and spit and sweat and blood, was layered on every inch of your skin. Both of them started peppering kisses along your flesh, prickled with chills yet still overheated, a kiss to the collarbone by one man, a peck in between your breasts from another, they continued and Fyodor eventually went to fetch a warm cloth.

“What did we learn malishka?” Fyodor asked you later that night, Dazai in deep-sleep on the other side of the bed, still in the aftershock of their tortuous play-time, you trembled slightly against Fyodor's bare chest.

“I’m never going to sleep with another person–”

“No, say it exactly.”

“I-I am never going to cheat on you…” You looked back up at him for guidance.

“With Dazai,” He guided your words.

“Cheat on you with Dazai, or anyone else, ever again. I only want–need–you, Fedya.” He hummed at your confession. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/n.” He replied simply, and you drifted off into sleep, body aching and face tear-stained and salty, still naked, but warm and so, so full

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ thx for reading! :)

#im not dead #bungo stray dogs fanfic #fyodor dostoevsky #fyozai #bsd fyodor #bsd dazai #fyodor x reader #dazai x reader #smut kinda #kinda spicy #i love the dirty stuff don’t get me wrong but fr #overstim kink #bsd x reader #fluff if you squint #like squint reeeeally hard

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mirai-e-jump · 1 year ago

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Hero Vision Vol.43 (2012/Winter) ft. Kamen Rider OOO Cast Members Watanabe Shu & Miura Ryosuke Memorial Trip (translations below)

Publication: March 7, 2012

-Silent Relationship-

Miura: In the year and a half since I first met Shu, the more I got to know him, the more I liked him.

Watanabe: In what ways?

Miura: Shu's been an actor for 3 years, right? Just as anything can be mastered after 3 years, I think you're at the stage where you've established your "base."

Watanabe: During that time, I was able to work on "Kamen Rider OOO," something I had always dreamed of doing, and, I was also able to meet Ryon-kun

Miura: Shu was grateful for everything and didn't take anything for granted, so he was able to establish a proper base. It's become his strength, and now he can go anywhere and do anything. If we want to learn from our mistakes, we make them, if we want to succeed, we make it happen. He's only 20 years old, so he's got alot of potential. I've been an actor for 10 years, and I'm at the point where I'm thinking, "What should I be doing from now on?" There are many people who say that if you can't do something, you're not allowed to do it. At the 10 year turning point, I was able to be apart of OOO, a work that I could really devote myself to. I realized that because I had the opportunity to meet Shu, who had so much potential, I had the chance to reflect on myself.

Watanabe: I've noticed alot of things from Ryon-kun too. Ryon-kun must've been thinking alot about how to make Ankh a "beloved monster," and how to express "Ryosuke Miura" himself in his photobooks. Never wasting any energy or time. The clothes, makeup, facial expressions, and movements all convey the desire to create a theme or concept, and then accomplishing it. That's why I used to get so angry during the filming of OOO. Especially when the makeup artist didn't arrive at the right time or there was a delay on set.

Miura: There were many times when I'd "freeze" the scene with a single word I said…..But, that was because I thought, "This isn't the way work should be done," or "This isn't the way the workplace should be."

Watanabe: Yeah, I want to learn from Ryon-kun's professionalism. That's how I was taught to be aware in the field, with a straight forward attitude to straighten things out. Ryon-kun has his own principles, and he wants to make sure that they're properly carried out, right?

Miura: I don't like being taken advantage of like I used to. I don't want people to think, "This is good enough for a young actor." Shu and I would never suck up to someone in a higher position. That's not what we're about, we want to make ourselves recognized by growing on the set. That's why I didn't have any unnecessary conversations with Shu or anyone else before a real take. Being an actor is job where you have to keep fighting with yourself, and there are many times where you'll feel lonely. There are some sites where the cast members act casual in order to make up for it, but I don't like that.

Watanabe: When Ryon-kun was on standby, there was a sense of tension that spread through the set. I could hear him quietly saying, "No more playing around." It was then that I realized, "This isn't the place to be screwing around," and I think the rest of the cast and staff felt the same way.

Miura: Everyone in OOO was able to perform with a high level of professionalism. If someone as talkative as Shu was on the scene without thinking, I feel like he would've caused too much trouble.

Watanabe: The reason that didn't happen was because of Ryon-kun. He led us through his actions. I did many things to Ryon-kun though. Things like the "Cola Incident."

Miura: You're going to bring this up again?! (laughs)

Watanabe: While on location for filming of the second half, Ryon-kun said he, "Wanted to drink some cola", so I told him, "I'll buy some for you," but I couldn't find a vending machine. While on the location bus eating my boxed lunch and thinking, "I'll take care of it later," Ryon-kun came to me and said, "Why are you eating food instead of buying me a cola?" You were just messing around, but you were still angry, right?

Miura: I just wanted to eat together with you.

Watanabe: It didn't feel like that (laughs). It wasn't just the cola, you were frustrated by alot of other things, right? I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Why don't you have lunch?," I was able to buy a cola on location after filming, so I left it on Ryon-kun's seat.

Miura: When Eitoku-san (Suit Actor who played Ankh) told me, "It's from Shu-kun," I remember being really happy. Doing things like that, Shu always fills the space in my heart.

-On an adventure together-

Miura: Since OOO is over, I think we should go on more adventures.

Watanabe: Adventures?

Miura: To use a styling analogy, Shu often says, "Ryon-kun, what are you going to wear today? What should I do?" But, it doesn't matter what I answer. I know that you're always looking for the answer that's inside of you. I know this because I usually have an answer in my mind, even though you ask for opinions from others.

Watanabe: That's right. I'm impatient and want to know the answer right away, so I'll ask, "What do you mean?," and sometimes I'll say, "That's what it means, right?," responding before the other person can answer.

Miura: When it comes to clothing, Shu would say, "This isn't my style, so I won't wear it." I used to think, "I can't do this," but wearing different clothes changes you, and sometimes you like them even better. I've come to believe that these things are like anything else.

Watanabe: It's easy to understand if you compare it with clothes. Ryon-kun's visual sense of adventure is incredible. Are you still exploring things? Or have you decided that this is your style?

Miura: I don't decide. It's not that I think, "I'm the one who wears leopard print," I just think, "I'm the coolest" or "I'm definitely cuter than other people." Coolness and cuteness differs depending on the person, but I want to do everything I can and can only do now, fully utilizing both my own ideals and the appeal of the Ryosuke Miura that others desire.

Watanabe: Hmmm~ (is impressed). When I saw Ryon-kun's paisley patterned setup with a blue background, I thought, "So cute!~" (From Miura-kun's blog, February 20, 2011). When I saw it, I thought, "People can do so many things!" But since it's Ryon-kun, it'll probably take some time before I can pull it off myself~.

Miura: Wanna do it? (laughs). You've got an adventurous spirit.

Watanabe: Ryon-kun is slim, so he looks good in both cool and cute styles.

Miura: I used to avoid leather jackets because they didn't fit my body type, but after I was allowed to wear a biker's jacket as part of Ankh's costume, I began to think, "They're cool." Then I started to wear them in my private life, and now I wear them alot. You should try wearing them too.

Watanabe: Isn't it boring to settle on an idea?

Miura: No matter what Shu wears or what he does, he's still Shu. But it's definitely fun to be particular. Now, let's try wearing skinny jeans in our private lives.

Watanabe: Can I really wear them~?

Miura:: It doesn't matter if the zipper doesn't close. Just think that skinny is the only thing in this world!

Watanabe: That's an interesting concept! (laughs).

-We want to be "special" to each other-

Watanabe: In contrast to his fashion, Ryon-kun keeps his own problems to himself.

Miura: I just don't tell Shu about them.

Watanabe: What?! I should be the first one you tell!

Miura: Shu doesn't listen to other people. When he speaks, he looks the other person in the eye and leans forward, but when the other person begins to speak, he lowers his tone and says, "Hmm, hmm…."

Watanabe: My goal this year will be to listen!

Miura: Shu wants to be the center of attention. It's cute how visibly flustered he gets when someone other than himself is being focused on (laughs).

Watanabe: I don't like it when Ryon-kun hangs out with someone else, talks to someone else without me, or talks about something I don't understand even though we're together. I think, "What? Is Ryon-kun that type of person?," it's similar to the jealousy of accusing someone of cheating.

Miura: !!! (he burst out laughing). It's fine when he interrupts the conversation or tries to compete with me by saying, "I'm better than you," but it's a problem when he stays quiet. Shu doesn't talk when he's angry. When I say something, I have to say it all…..

Watanabe: That anger may be because he thought of me, or it may be about something that isn't negotiable at work. While I was happy, I was also worried about Ryon-kun himself.

Miura: At times like that, he'd ask, "Ryon-kun, what's wrong?" Whenever he's in a bad mood, I always try to calm him down, and I'm lucky if I also don't get stuck in a bad mood.

Watanabe: I overdid it sometimes (laughs). However, many things happened during our time together. I had alot of happy times and alot of frustrating times. I don't want to talk about it because it might distort my position and my feelings about the show……but, I thought it was great that Ankh was loved by so many people.

Miura: I think so too. Every time I saw Shu acting brave as the main character, and seeing him being loved by the staff, I thought it was something I couldn't do. Humans are always begging for something they don't have. We have different positions and characters, so it's not like we want to change for the other person (bitter smile).

Watanabe: Thanks to that, I was able to become more attached to my role and love it even more. What may seem like a negative thing can end up improving each other. Because I'm like that, no matter how close Ryon-kun is to other actors in his private life, he always comes back to me in the end. I'm number one among Ryon-kun.

Miura: Where does that confidence come from?

Watanabe: It's my desire for it to be that way.

Miura: (laughs). It's true that Shu is special to me. I've been surrounded by older people since I was little. There are people who pampered me and people who took good care of me, but somehow I couldn't trust them enough, and I always thought, "I have to get my act together." Especially on set, there's no place to relax….

Watanabe: That's true….

Miura: But, Shu's special. Only Shu can be spoiled. Shu's the first one where I think I can do anything with this person. Whether it's a photo shoot or an event, when Shu says, "Ryon-kun, it's okay," I can trust him with everything. Shu changed me from my very core.

Watanabe: Ehhh? Am I spoiled?

Miura: Shu was given special treatment during the photo shoot, right? When we all went to a donut shop to celebrate the makeup artist's birthday, I only bought grape juice for Shu (laughs).

Watanabe: That's right! I was the only one! (is happy).

Miura: I remember things like that every now and then. "We were together every day when we co starred together, so now it's fine if we don't see each other for a few months," I don't know why I ever said that……

Watanabe: Did you realize how much I meant to you after you left? Perhaps you got stuck in the "Watanabe Spiral?"

Miura: What does that mean?! (laughs).

Watanabe: It's the same for me. When I entered the set of OOO, I realized how blessed I was to be there. I felt like everyone loved me so much. At such times, I want to meet Ryon-kun and to confirm that, "I'm not alone."

Miura: Ahahaha!! (he bursts out laughing).

Watanabe: Well, after all, it's lonely, and we have to say "bye bye" now that we've finished filming.

Miura: I thought it was fine up until now, but I want to continue working with Shu and the others…..But, Shu doesn't think I'm special. To Shu, everyone is special.

Watanabe: What are you talking about?! Ryon-kun is the only one who keeps in touch with me this much.

Miura: I don't contact you as much as you say.

Watanabe: Is this because of the "email incident?"

Miura: When we first met, I said, "I don't feel comfortable messaging men."

Watanabe: I don't even message my friends to say, "See you tomorrow." The only emails I send are things like reminding my parents to send me contact lenses, or business matters like saying "I understand" to my manager (laughs). And yet, even though I send them to Ryon-kun myself, I can't?

Miura: You attach heart marks too.

Watanabe: That's right. Because you're really special to me.

Miura: I see (is satisfied). I'm a person who wants "Love" to exist in everything, including people, things, and work. I expect the same from others, can be jealous, and am abit troublesome.

Watanabe: Really? What if I want love too?

Miura: Then we're the same (is satisfied again).

Watanabe: I also rely on Ryon-kun. If I'm at a loss for materials at an event, if I'm talking too much, or if I feel like I'm going to make things worse, I'll say, "Hey, Ryon-kun?" and wave at him. When Ryon-kun replies, "Yeah?" or "What is it~," I respond with, "Miura-san, can I ask you something?," and then we end it with a joke.

Miura: Ah, that interaction, it really saved you (laughs). I'm glad~.

-The complete opposite path-

Miura: I feel at ease knowing that I'll be able to meet Shu again in the future, whether it's for interviews or at someone's birthday party. But, I'd like to keep in touch with Shu more easily. Even if it's, "I'm hungry, let's get something to eat even though we only have an hour."

Watanabe: Let's do it, let's do it!

Miura: And yet, for some reason, Shu can't do that……

Watanabe: Me being underage was probably a big part of it, huh? I also found myself wanting to meet Ryon-kun. Well, I already told you today, I'll change our relationship.

Miura: Please, by all means.

Watanabe: But, I'm short of money, and lately I've been eating alot of foods with a combination of bean sprouts (laughs). I don't like it when Ryon-kun takes care of me.

Miura: It'd be fun to have a "tasty bean sprout eating contest" at Shu's house.

Watanabe: Sounds good! I'm the best when it comes to bean sprouts, right?

Miura: Save some for me (laughs). Even if you say, "I can't do it because I don't have enough money," I'll say, "Okay, let's do it next time," or "It's okay, let's go together." Shu is serious about things like this. He seems to live freely, but he always tightens up where he needs to. It was the same with OOO.

Watanabe: That's because, as much as I was happy to be able to appear in a production that I admired, I also felt anxious and pressured. When it came to my acting, my responsibilities as the lead role, and communicating with Ryon-kun and the others…..I had alot of worries. When I saw Ryon-kun worrying, I had an optimistic attitude and said, "That's not something to worry about, right?," and it was because I didn't want to show everyone that I myself was worried and depressed.

Miura: Ah…I see…..

Watanabe: For me, I wanted to be everyone's "sunshine" on set. I felt that it was required of me, and I really wanted to make my dreams come true in a better way by being that way. That's why I wanted to challenge myself to do things that were beyond my capacity.

Miura: You overdid things.

Watanabe: I feel so too. There were times when I held in what I wanted to say because I didn't want to get into a fight with Ryon-kun. I instinctively avoided him because I was afraid that if my relationship with Ryon-kun deteriorated, it would become even more difficult to stand firm.

Miura: Why can we talk like this now?

Watanabe: I guess it's because I started seeing things from a different perspective. Just because I talked to someone about my troubles doesn't mean that the tension on set goes down. I don't think I needed to hold myself back so much, and I probably should have talked to Ryon-kun about it. I had too many assumptions about how things should be.

Miura: But, everyone was at ease saying, "Shu-kun doesn't change every day," and they respected Shu for that. This work was possible only because Shu was able to suppress his "insecurity" and "impossibility" and stand firm. By letting me out, the both of us survived together.

Watanabe: I see……We were complete opposites, but we faced the same direction as well.

Miura: That's why my feelings for Shu are actually very simple. At first I was surprised and thought, "Such a person exists!," then I thought, "He's amazing," "He's wonderful," and "I love him." I'm so grateful for him.

Watanabe: It feel the same. For me, this year and a half was because of Ryon-kun.

Miura: Now that our environments are changing, I think it's okay to feel down and talk to others when things get tough. You may run into conflicts when you ask for someone's opinion, and they may not tell you how to solve them, but it is much better than worrying about them alone. I don't want to run into the same problems again, so I think about them until the very last moment, and if it still doesn't work, I vent about it to someone else.

Watanabe: I see…..that sounds fine. Ryon-kun will listen to me now, right?

Miura: Of course, go ahead.

Watanabe: Thank you. Hah~……Today was the first time I've heard or talked about many things. I didn't have as much time as I thought I did while we were performing together (bitter smile). I think there are still alot of things I haven't talked about with Ryon-kun.

Miura: Let's talk whenever you want. It's sad to see the show end, but it was a year and a half of many encounters. I'm very happy that the people who came to know us through these encounters are supporting both of us together. I hope everyone will continue to watch over and support us as husband and wife for many years to come.

Watanabe: (laughs). It's been over a year and a half since me and Ryon-kun became a pair….I believe that together we were able to bring dreams and smiles to many people. We want you to support us forever, and let's grow even more so that we can live up to that.

Miura: Right!

Japanese Alphabet with Shu and Ryosuke (+ other page details)

Go to Hakone (page 65)

A: "The moment I'm in love" (Ai o kanjiru toki)

Shu: It's constant……Like the other day, when Ryon-kun gave me the bracelet that he'd been wearing for such a long time. Why'd you do that?

Ryosuke: I've been wearing it for many years now, and I wanted someone I cherish to have something that I cared about. I wonder if Shu writes about me on his blog or talks about me at events.

Shu: I wrote about Ryon-kun in my first blog of the year!

E: "The important part" (Erai tokoro)

Shu: It's strange for me to say this, but he's extremely professional. However, when he messes up, he really messes up.

Ryosuke: The organizers do a better job (laughs).

Shu: I was the organizer of my 20th birthday party and the New Year's party during OOO (laughs). Because it was a party with Ryon-kun and the others, I took the initiative.

Ryosuke: Everyone gets together because it's Shu, and even if they can't make it, they'll definitely let him know.

I: "Want to hold an event?" (Ibento o yarunara)

Ryosuke: A comedy act. At the request of one of my fans at a live event, they said I should be the funny man and Shu should be the straight man (laughs).

Shu: I like singing with Ryon-kun, so it'd be a concert.

O: "What happens when you're mad?" (Okoruto dounaru)

Shu: Ryon-kun stops talking to me and drags me through the day. He's never honest, even if he's sorry during the middle of the day, he won't talk to me until the next day.

Ryosuke: Shu is more flustered than mad. He always wants to be the center of attention, so when I'm talking to someone else, he wants to get between us (laughs).

U: "The jealous part" (Urayamashii tokoro)

Shu: Your visuals and the way you present yourself to the media. The way that you know what's expected of you and can express it.

Ryosuke: That you're full of potential. _

Arrives in Hakone Yumoto (page 66)

(top right) "Although the Romancecar (express train) had some trouble and had to stop at Odawara, it arrived safely at Hakone Yumoto without incident! "We have to take a picture that we've arrived!," and Watanabe-kun and Miura-kun went together to stand in front of the signboard."

KU: "A frustrated heart" (Kuyashii kokoro)

Ryosuke: There are alot of things. He bought an iPhone before I did, he built the cool and stylish house he lives in now, and he's a really strong drinker (laughs).

Shu: His fashion sense. Even if it's a single bag, it's an expensive high brand item!

KE: "Your ideal marriage partner" (Kekkon aite ni osusume ha)

Ryosuke: Definitely Shu. I think he'd be a good dad. He'd take us to various places to have fun, find amazing things for us to do during Summer vacation, and make delicious food to eat.

Shu: Definitely Ryon-kun. He can cook and do housework like a wife. Just being together with him is healing.

KO: "Love" (Koi)

Shu: When it comes to love, I want an answer immediately, so all I want to know is, "I like you or I don't like you." I don't think I could play around.

Ryosuke: I can't do it either. And I'm pretty jealous, so I'm sure I'll weigh them down.

Shu: There are some people who feel more loved the more they're bound!

Ryosuke: I guess so…..I wonder if it has to do with compatibility….

KA: "The cute parts" (Kawaii tokoro)

Ryosuke: His smile and dimples!

Shu: He's surprisingly innocent. I'm the same way, but when he's moved by something, he becomes all, "Uwa~ah!! (with sparkling eyes)"

KI: "Areas of concern" (Ki ni naru tokoro)

Shu: Sometimes, at our events, we'd speak using a fake Kansai dialect (laughs). Saying things like, "Why's that?" and "Is that so?"

Ryosuke: Even though neither of us are from the Kansai region (laughs).

Shu: It did make me feel closer to the guests though. _

Hatsuhana (page 67)

(top center) "When walking in front of Hakone Yumoto Station,"

Shu: Is that the soba shop? Right over there?

Ryosuke: It says "Inn" (laughs).

"Within a 5 minute walk, Watanabe-kun discovers multiple phantom soba shops."

SA: "The surprising thing" (Sapuraizu na koto)

Shu: I'll say it here. I got a Bluray recorder from Ryon-kun as a present for my 20th birthday!

Ryosuke: It's too late to say it! People think I didn't give it to you (laughs).

Shu: I missed the opportunity. So here it is now.

Ryosuke: In a good way, my impression of Shu hasn't changed since I met him. Also, I was really surprised at how well he eats (laughs).

SHI: "Horror story" (Shippaidan)

Shu: I don't mean to offend, but I often end up hurting people with my words…..

Ryosuke: If it were me who had done it, I wouldn't think, "That's terrible"….(laughs).

SU: "My favorite part" (Sukina tokoro)

Shu: There are alot of things, but if I had to pick one, I'd be that he's devoted to me.

Ryosuke: The part where he's always pulling me along, whether it's out of excitement or just to talk.

SE: "World view" (Sekaikan)

Shu: Recently, when we're together, we sometimes spend quiet time together.

Ryosuke: During the stage greeting for the film, "Kamen Rider x Kamen Rider Fourze & OOO: Movie War Mega Max," when I saw Shu sitting at the very back of the location bus, silently admiring the scenery outside the window, I thought to myself, "He's become more sexy since turning 20" (laughs).

Shu: I was probably just trying to appear cool (laughs).

SO: "When you need me by your side" (Soba ni ite hoshii toki)

Ryosuke: Now that Kamen Rider OOO is over, I hate that I'm not next to you.

Shu: I currently feel the same way. I've never been loved so much on a set, so I want to meet up with him once in awhile and spoil him, and I want to confirm that, "Ah, I have friends, and I can do my best going towards tomorrow."

TO: "Times where I make him feel special" (Tokubetsuda to omou toki)

Ryosuke: Always. In front of the other OOO members, I've always shown that, "Shu is the best."

Shu: I rarely send emails outside of business, but I only send emails with hearts attached to Ryon-kun.

TE: "The appropriate part" (Tekitona tokoro)

Shu: When I'm messing around. Sometimes I respond with, "I'm too busy to bother you" (laughs).

Ryosuke: Shu basically relaxes when he doesn't have to do something for himself or others (laughs).

TSU: "The cold (hearted) part" (Tsumetai tokoro)

Ryosuke: It wasn't towards me, but Shu's face was cold during a pre event meeting with the MC. I immediately asked, "What's this all about?," as it was a face you don't want to show to the visitors.

Shu: When I talked to Ryon-kun after the "Cola Incident", usually he'd laugh and say, "I see~," but he instead responded with, "No, I don't understand" in a cold way……It was scary.

CHI: "The part that's different" (Chigau tokoro)

Shu: Our personalities are the exact opposite. We're like the S and N on a magnet, so we fit together perfectly and can't be separated.

Ryosuke: Yeah, I'm interested because we're different, and I like seeing how things play out.

Shu: We look completely different too! A Japanese face and a Western face!

TA: "Fun memories" (Tanoshi katta omoide)

Ryosuke: During filming for OOO, we had our first date in Ueno! (May 22, 2011)

Shu: After filming, we went to Fuji Q Highland (interview done by Tokyo News Mook: Good Come, November 16 issue). But, you know, I always enjoyed those moments when we had off time, whether it was having a meal during a break or just sitting on the location bus. _

In the Corridor (page 68-69)

NA: "What would you name it?" (Namae wo tsukerunara?)

Shu: E&A, since it's Eiji & Ankh….."EA!" (pronounced ia = ear)

Ryosuke: Hey, are you sure that's okay? (giving a dirty look).

Shu: Eh~? (unhappy). Then, what about Miura-san?

Ryosuke: I want to be on "Team (blank)"

Shu: Since it's the year of the Dragon, how about "Ryuseikai?"

Ryosuke: Sounds good! Our goal is also to get more male fans, so it doesn't matter how grand it is!

NU: "The part I want to leave out" (Nukitai tokoro)

Shu: Dance! And also, professionalism!

Ryosuke: I have none. In the first place, I can't beat Shu, so I have no desire to lose to Shu, or to destroy Shu.

NI: "Similar parts" (Ni teru tokoro)

Ryosuke: That we value our family. Shu loves his family too, doesn't he?

Shu: Yeah, I love them. The similarity with Ryon-kun is……(thinking hard)……I can't think of any! I always see him as my complete opposite.

NE: "Sleeping face" (Negao)

Shu: Ryon-kun's sleeping face is beautiful.

Ryosuke: Shu's is cute. He's like a baby. He must feel comfortable, because he drools down to his collarbone (laughs).

Shu: That's how "Lake Watanabe" will be created.

Ryosuke: That's so gross! (he bursts out laughing).

NO: "Drinking" (Nomi)

Ryosuke: I want to drink at a kushikatsu (skewer) restaurant or some place with a counter.

Shu: I'd rather go to a dirty restaurant than a fancy one and share my true feelings with him. _

Hakone Glass Forest Art Museum (page 70)

HA: "Embarrassing things" (Hazukashii koto)

Ryosuke: I didn't want anyone to see the moments where I went into water, stood on high places, or anything I don't like, but I showed them all to Shu during the filming of OOO. I have nothing left to hide from Shu.

Shu: I'm lazy at home. I watch TV with just a towel wrapped around me after a bath, and my laundry is sometimes left in the washing machine, where it becomes stiff and crumpled…..

HI: "Secrets" (Himitsu)

Ryosuke: There's none. We're generally talkative, and when Shu acts stranger than usual, I get curious and ask what's up. Shu will often ask me, "Ryon-kun, did anything happen today?," so there are no secrets (laughs).

Shu: I have none either!

FU: "Dissatisfaction" (Fuman)

Ryosuke: When I'm having trouble with something I don't want to talk about, he asks me in front of everyone, "Ryon-kun, did something happen yesterday?" I'd like it to be just between the two of us.

Shu: Sometimes he says things that are impossible. Like, "Come to my concert in Osaka."

Ryosuke: Why's that? I'm requesting for Shu to show off his cute performance.

Shu: But, I also have plans…..

Ryosuke: I'll be in a bad mood if you don't come, okay?

Shu: Yeah, I'm not dissatisfied. This isn't dissatisfaction (laughs).

HE: "Disguise" (Hensou)

Ryosuke: I want to act cool like you always do.

Shu: Me too. I'm going to be cool like you always are.

Ryosuke: Can I pull it off?

Shu: Ryon-kun's coolness might be too difficult for me right now (laughs).

HO: "A serious moment" (Honki no shunkan)

Shu: The look in your eyes the moment you start your performance. It's completely different from usual.

Ryosuke: As expected, it's times during the performance.

(middle right) Fusing Experience "While wearing matching friendship bracelets, Miura-kun gave Watanabe-kun the handmade bracelet as a gift, and the two have a close relationship when it comes to accessories. They both made accessories by melting glass and presented them to each other."

Shu: Since it's the year of the Dragon, I think I'll choose something with a dragon motif for Ryon-kun~.

Ryosuke: Eh~? (unhappy).

Shu: No good? Well then, let's do something cute then.

Ryosuke: Hmmm, as I thought, Shu should get a "mask."

"And with that, they start with a complete showdown!"

(middle left) "They also created a gift for the readers."

Ryosuke: Don't move everything I just put down~ (laughs).

Shu: Ah, sorry.

"Watanabe-kun said, shifting the glass beads while curling, so we couldn't see the finished product."

Shu: The one I placed (a glass bead in the bottom center) doesn't make too much of an impression, huh? (laughs). Ryon-kun, please do something about it~

"In the end, Miura-kun arranged and completed it by hand."

(bottom left) Their collaborative "Heart Spoon" will be given away to 1 person!

(bottom middle) From Ryosuke to Shu: A mask necklace

From Shu to Ryosuke: A sparkling key holder _

Onsen (page 71)

MU: "Defenseless moments" (Mubobi na shunkan)

Ryosuke: The times when Shu is sleeping, right? (laughs). I personally think I'm flawless.

Shu: That's a lie~. He already said he's revealed alot of things to me.

Ryosuke: Hmmm, the truth is, the more I like someone, the more conscious I am about how I'm perceived. I just don't do it well with Shu (laughs).

Shu: Ah, I see!

MA: "Things I'm serious about" (Majimeda to omou tokoro)

Shu & Ryosuke: Things relatings to work.

MI: Miura Ryosuke

Shu: The kanji that make up bewitching, "Mysterious" and "Gorgeous," and even "Beautiful" suits him. His appearance, expressions, and everything about him is erotic and cool. Anyway, he's very sexy.

Ryosuke: Are you serious? That makes me happy! I think the eternal theme for me is to have "Love" in everything.

ME: "Meal" (Meshi)

Ryosuke: I'd like to pound real mochi using a mortar and pestle. I'll do the pounding and Shu will do the kneading. And, I want to try different flavors, like chocolate.

Shu: I want to have dinner at a fancy French restaurant in Ginza that costs 30,000 yen per person. I wonder what'll happen to us there.

Ryosuke: We'd probably panic? (laughs)

MO: "The popular parts" (Moteru tokoro)

Ryosuke: You have vitality, and the confidence to do so for whatever reason (laughs).

Shu: I think it's because I want to lead. I'm recommend by younger people (?). But, I'm not looked up to by people my age or those older than me……Ryon-kun is devoted. I can feel that he thinks of me as the center of his life.

Ryosuke: I still think that's heavy to say.

Shu: That's because there are some people in this world that want to be bound. _

Kiritani Hakoneso (page 72-73)

RU: "The parts of his looks that I like" (Rukkusu de sukina yo koro)

Shu: His small, well defined face and slim legs (he slaps Miura-kun's thighs). And, he has a flexible body.

Ryosuke: Actually I'm pretty stiff (his fingers can't reach the floor when he bends forward). I'm like Shu, I've got a firm face.

Shu: We both want things the other has.

RI: Request (Rikuesuto)

Shu: I want Ryon-kun to hurry up and invite me to his house!

Ryosuke: I don't want to because it's a mess right now. I'm planning to move, so wait until I'm in my new home.

Shu: Of course!

Ryosuke: My request would be to go out to eat a meal casually, not just for birthdays or New Year's parties, but also on days when there's nothing going on.

RA: "The lucky things" (Rakki na koto)

Ryosuke: After I met Shu, we started eating alot more food, and we started talking alot. I'm a much more positive person than before.

Shu: I learned alot about the rules of how things should be in the field and how things should be in this industry.

YO: "Weakness" (Yowami)

Ryosuke: It's no good to ignore Shu.

Shu: Loneliness and indifference are the worst. Ryon-kun is lonely too, isn't he?

Ryosuke: It's because I'm a Rabbit, as I was born in the year of the Rabbit.

Shu: I see, you're a Rabbit-chan~ (Does he even understand?)

YU: "How did you come up with your unit name?" (Yunitto mei o tsukerunara)

Shu: Ryosuke's R and Shu's S are taken to make "R&S." By the way, the "&" is taken away from "Earth." Earth also has it's meaning!

Ryosuke: I think it's nice to be big (laughs).

YA: "Being kind to me" (Yasashiku sa reta koto)

Ryosuke: Shu often asks, "Ryon-kun, are you eating your food properly? Are you hungry?" and "Ryon-kun, if there's any leftover, please give it to me."

Shu: In the end, it's my desires (laughs). When I call someone and they don't notice, Ryon-kun joins me and we call together.

Ryosuke: That?! (laughs)

Shu: It's too much that no one moves!

RE: "Means of contact" (Renraku shudan)

Shu: It's mainly emails. We send each other about the same amount. Ryon-kun often sends me messages when he's drunk, saying, "Shu-chan" or "To my beloved Shu."

Ryosuke: When I'm drunk and lonely, I want to meet Shu. It varies whether we respond to each other or not (laughs).

RO: "Lost (what they don't want to lose)" (Rosuto)

Shu: Our friendly relationship. The rest is my personality. As people often say, "I hope you don't change," and if there is a part of me that can support Ryon-kun now, I want to continue to do so.

Ryosuke: My job. I met Shu through work, and if it wasn't for this job, we might have never met.

WA: Watanabe Shu

Ryosuke: He's free…..the way I see it, he's not pretending about it.

Shu: I'm bright and positive. But, I may not be able to show my true self easily.

(bottom right) Since the Hero Vision release date was close to Miura-kun's 25th birthday (February 16th), Watanabe-kun gave him a surprise after dinner. Watanabe-kun was enthusiastically singing "Happy Birthday dear Ryon-kun~" (with a hint of euphoria), and Miura-kun was surprised and said, "Eh? Eh? You're kidding, right?" Miura-kun, with some tears in his eyes, said "Thank you," and Watanabe-kun gave him the biggest smile in return. _

Return to Tokyo (page 74)

(W)O: "The end" (Owari)

Shu: I heard that Hakone got the most snow this winter today. The snow must've been waiting for us to come. Maybe the snow said, "Ryon-kun, Shu-kun, why don't you come quickly? The scenery will be beautiful when it's all piled up."

Ryosuke: What's wrong with you? Saying such cute things (laughs).

Shu: It was alot of fun. The hot springs and the food were great, but I really enjoyed being with Ryon-kun! What about you Ryon-kun?

Ryosuke: It was fun. Since I was with Shu, I ate alot more food than usual (laughs). _

See You! (page 75)

N: "From now on" (Kore kara)

Shu: Next time, we'll climb Mt. Fuji, and at the top we'll shout, "Waaah~!"

Ryosuke: I want to climb it. But, it's said that you're risking your life.

Shu: Is that so? Well then, let's go fishing instead.

Ryosuke: Let's go to a river. I want to eat river fish.

Shu: Then let's go camping! Decide on sweets up to 300 yen.

Ryosuke: Then it's a field trip (laughs). I don't mind if we go to Korea and enjoy fancy gourmet food, or if I pick up some bamboo and go to Shu's house to have Nagashi Somen.

Shu: That's a wide range. Also, are you planning on leaving my house drenched? (laughs)

Ryosuke: Anywhere is fine if I'm with Shu.

Shu: Eh? (is happy)

Ryosuke: It'd be interesting to have an interview where we're just eating (laughs).

Shu: Then you can visit anytime! (laughs)

(*no Japanese word starts with the singular "N" character)

239 notes · View notes

kelliealtogether · 3 months ago

Text

The new barista at Fox Way Cafe was hot as shit.

Or Ronan Lynch hoped he was new. That was the only reasonable excuse why the barista sucked at barista-ing and seemed to provide the fucking worst customer service known to man. The way the guy’s thin smile faltered when he asked someone how he could help them said he’d rather throw himself into an active volcano — or possibly a tiny metal pitcher of freshly steamed milk, given the setting — than take another order for a nonfat pumpkin spice peppermint patty latte with almond milk or whatever, but damn, Ronan would stand in line all day if it meant watching the new guy epically fail at providing a good customer experience.

Ronan Lynch doesn't mean to become a regular at Fox Way Cafe, but when he sees the cafe's newest employee for the first time, he decides to keep going back again, and again, and again.

At least until the new barista learns how to spell his name...

Just Coffee is a 4.3k G-rated coffee shop meet-cute with all the trappings of a meet-ugly. Adam is horrible at customer service and Ronan can't get enough of it. Read it all below the cut or here on ao3.

The new barista at Fox Way Cafe was hot as shit.

Ronan didn’t personally need a good customer experience though. He didn’t need any kind of experience at all. He just needed the plainest cup of black coffee Fox Way had ever served because he happened to be an idiot who forgot to add cheap, plain coffee to his last Instacart order. There had been coffee back at his brother Declan’s townhouse — expensive whole bean crap that tasted like battery acid had a baby with nail polish remover — but Ronan appreciated his fully-functioning stomach too much to drink it. That left him suffering the consequences of his mistake, waiting in line behind a bunch of blonde, Northern Virginia housewives decked out in their Lululemon and Patagonia.

At least he got nice scenery as he suffered. Not the cafe itself and the hand lettered chalkboard menu posted behind the counter or the mismatched overstuffed armchairs gathered around whitewashed antique tables, but dusty hair that fell unevenly across a forehead. Mirthless blue eyes that narrowed at the corners with every overly complex coffee order. Long, lean, knobby-knuckled hands that scrawled names on the sides of white paper cups in permanent marker.

It was a sight Ronan could look at all day. And nothing stopped him from setting up residence at one of the cafe’s tables to watch the hopefully new guy suck at his job. The rest of the morning — and afternoon, and evening — stretched in front of Ronan, impossibly empty. Not much filled the schedule of a high school dropout who had ideas about being a farmer until he abandoned that plan after realizing it meant he’d be stuck alone in western Virginia until retirement or the apocalypse, whichever came first. Now, with the luxury of money and time, he’d ditched his would-be farm for Alexandria and was reassessing his life goals while running out the clock on his brother’s hospitality and patience.

But until Declan sent him packing?

Ronan could keep forgetting to add coffee to his grocery order so he could become a regular at Fox Way Cafe, and he’d start that journey with a single cup of black coffee.

“Can I help you?” the barista — he had to be new because he didn’t even have a name tag pinned to the apron he wore over a red t-shirt — asked, pulling Ronan out his head, where he’d started daydreaming about getting to know the hot as shit barista through a series of snarky conversations while cash and cups changed hands.

At the front of the line and now up close and personal with the new guy, proximity rendered Ronan speechless for a long, awkward second before he said, “Just coffee.” After another awkward pause, Ronan — because while he was an asshole, he wasn’t about to be a dick to a customer service person — added, “Please.”

“Just coffee,” the barista replied, like he couldn’t believe someone would enter a cafe and only order a plain cup of coffee. And — fair. The orders Ronan overhead while waiting had all sounded like fantastic sugar-filled monstrosities that left plain coffee cowering in their shadows.

“Yeah. Just coffee, man,” Ronan said. “Not trying to make your life difficult.”

The guy should have appreciated the simple order, but if a sigh could be an expression, that was precisely how the barista looked at Ronan. And, honestly, unimpressed wasn’t a bad look on him. Yeah, it pressed his thin lips thinner and drew his almost invisible eyebrows together so the skin between them pinched, but it made him look even more done with his mundane counter position and Ronan appreciated the desire to opt out of the farce of capitalism.

“Name?” barista boy asked. Ronan didn’t know how he translated the unimpressed look on his face into the single-worded question, but he managed.

“Uh. Ronan,” Ronan replied. Because, apparently, this guy rendered him not just speechless, but stupid.

Some kind of magic put a cup in one of the barista’s hands and a marker in the other, and he scrawled on the side of the cup before capping the marker and using it to tap the register’s touch screen. “Three seventy,” he told Ronan apathetically. The he turned around to fill the cup from a giant stainless steel pot behind the register.

Ignoring the fact a plain cup of coffee cost almost four bucks, and also ignoring the fact this guy had a minimalist approach to talking, Ronan pulled out his wallet and thumbed out a credit card. As he tapped it to the card reader attached to the register, he watched the barista’s pleasantly muscled bicep and how it moved beneath his t-shirt as he pumped the lever on the pot’s black lid. Bewitched, Ronan’s eyes were still focused on where the guy’s upper arm had been when he turned back toward Ronan, which left Ronan staring at the hollow at the base of a very nice throat when the barista held out his full cup of coffee. And there was one of those gorgeous hands again, this time curled around the cup so fingertips bookended Ronan’s name written on white cardboard.

Ronan’s name, spelled Ronin.

“It’s with an a,” he said. Dumbly. Obstinately.

The barista held the cup in his hand so stilly that the coffee inside it went flat and dark and mirror-like as he asked, “Pardon?”

It sounded way cuter than Ronan wanted to admit. A little southern and lilting but sanded down, close to the way people had talked out in western Virginia before Ronan temporarily uprooted himself to Alexandria. It was also a lot more polite than a what or a huh, responses he'd heard a million times before. How Ronan himself would have responded in the same kind of situation.

“My name,” he replied. “It’s with an a.”

The guy blinked once, slowly, like Ronan was an idiot. And — fair. He was standing there being pedantic about how a barista had spelled his name on a cup that hadn't required Ronan’s name at all. With the coffee right behind the register, the cup didn't need to be put in the line waiting for the other barista — a short chick whose hair clips probably violated a dozen health codes — to fill it with a fancy ass drink. So it made absolute sense for the guy to set Ronan’s cup on the granite countertop far away from the register — a clear sign for Ronan to move out of line — before he said dryly, “Thank you for the feedback.”

“No problem,” Ronan told him. Dumbly. Sarcastically. But he got the hint. He picked up his cup and raised it in a toast to the hot barista as he added, “Have a good one.”

And he legitimately wanted the guy to have a good day. No one that hot should be subjected to a bad day, especially when they were stuck serving assholes like Ronan, even if they were kind of a dick themselves. Thank you for the feedback though? If someone in customer service cared about keeping their job, they didn’t say shit like that. And maybe the hot barista didn’t care about keeping his job. On looks alone, Ronan had a pretty high opinion of him. Add his absolute disdain for his current career? That skyrocketed Ronan’s opinion through the roof.

Ronan stopped at the milk, sugar, and compostable stirrer station to shove a lid on his cup before leaving the twee little cafe, but not before glancing back at the barista, who had moved on to serving the next person in line and looked no less disinterested in his work than when he’d taken Ronan’s order. Jesus shit, Ronan hadn’t seen someone look so joyless since he’d told Declan he was dropping out of high school. At least that had made Ronan happy. The barista’s misery please absolutely no one.

Yet the prospect of causing the guy more misery didn’t stop Ronan from returning to the cafe the next day. Sometimes he bent truths and avoided honesty, but he wasn’t a liar. He’d told himself he’d become a regular at Fox Way Cafe and he would. Later in the morning — a time most people would call midday, not morning — he sauntered into the coffee shop. During his drive from Declan’s townhouse, Ronan had mentally prepared for the possibility the barista from yesterday wouldn’t be working, but preparation had been unnecessary. Hot barista stood behind the counter looking as bored as ever as he took a woman’s order.

Ronan sidled into line behind her — the two pump sugar-free vanilla, two pump hazelnut, double-shot, extra hot oat milk latte she ordered made Ronan’s stomach hurt — and after she paid and the barista passed her cup off to the same midget working the espresso machine, the barista looked at Ronan, paused a beat, and then asked, “Just coffee?”

“Yeah,” Ronan replied, blinking his mild shock away. The guy had remembered his — albeit really fucking basic — order from the day before. “Just coffee.”

Again, the guy practiced some kind of magic and procured a cup and marker from thin air, and after he told Ronan his total, he turned to fill the cup from the pot behind him. Again, Ronan watched the barista’s arm while he fumbled through tapping his credit card for payment, and when the barista handed him his coffee, Ronan said, “That’s not where the a goes.”

Because the barista had scrawled Aronin on the cup.

“You said your name was uh Ronan,” the barista replied. “With an a.”

Probably, Ronan should have been flattered that a hot guy had remembered his name when dozens, if not hundreds, of customers streamed into the cafe every morning. And he would have been, if the barista hadn’t completely bastardized Ronan’s name. Okay, sure, Ronan hadn’t said the a went where the guy had put an i because it was common damn sense, but who was named Aronin? The barista had to be fucking with him. Or maybe he was too functionally illiterate to be working the register at a coffee shop.

God, Ronan hoped not.

For a long moment, he stared at the barista, then — because no one had gotten in line behind him — he set the coffee down on the counter without spilling any. “It’s Ronan,” he said flatly. None of this mattered. The barista didn’t care whether he spelled anyone’s name right or not, but Ronan would be damned if he didn’t at least try to correct it. His name wasn’t Ronin or — what the fuck — Aronin. It was Ronan, a damn good name, and he wasn’t going to let someone get it wrong if he could help it. “Like — row, like a boat.” He mimicked holding an oar and stroked his hands through the air like he was sitting in a canoe and paddling down a river, not standing in Fox Way Cafe. “And nan. Like what you’d call your grandma or whatever.” He picked his coffee back up before he finished, “Ronan.”

The barista simply looked back at him for a long moment, his fair eyebrows and his lips both flat lines. Jesus, he was good looking, even through thinly veiled annoyance. Finally, just like he had the day before, the barista said dryly, “Thank you for the feedback and demonstration.”

Barely — barely — Ronan stopped himself from throwing his hands in the air and splattering the whole cafe with coffee. This guy had to be fucking with him, and if he was, Ronan gave him credit. He hadn’t so much as smiled. At all. Not once. No one could be that stoic for so long in such a ridiculous situation unless they were doing it on purpose. Which — made the guy about a hundred times more attractive to Ronan.

“You’re welcome,” he drawled, narrowing his eyes at the barista. Then, just like he had the day before, he said, “Have a good one.”

If Ronan’s mom had been alive, she would have called the guy difficult or a pill, and that would have only been under duress. Despite her raising him, Ronan had never been that nice. That benevolent. So he mentally called the guy an asshole as he walked out of Fox Way, and he smirked to himself his entire walk to his parked BMW.

He smirked to himself his entire drive back to Declan’s townhouse.

The next day, Ronan should have expected similar shenanigans. Or not shenanigans. Misunderstandings. Because maybe this barista was the type to dick around with every one of his customers, but Ronan didn’t think so. Except as soon as he stepped into the cafe — oddly empty for almost lunchtime — the hot barista grabbed a cup, scrawled something on its side in marker, and turned toward the coffee pot behind him.

“What if I wanted something else?” Ronan asked as he stopped in front of the register.

“Once is an anomaly,” the barista replied, putting the full cup down on the counter, strategically turned so Ronan couldn’t see what he’d written on it. “Twice is a pattern.”

“Okay, Einstein.” Ronan rolled his eyes before reaching for the cup and slowly spinning it until he could read his name. “Oh, come on, man.”

Because, this time, the barista had written Row Nan.

Nonchalant, the barista said, “It’s how you told me it was spelled.”

“I was being phonetical. Not literal.”

Then, the flat line of the guy’s lips twitched — just barely — into something that had ideas of being a smirk before the guy pressed his lips thin again and said, “I’ll take Hooked On Phonics into consideration next time.”

And there would be a next time, because the barista’s snark had become more than mildly appealing to Ronan. He’d come back again and again and again, even if the guy never spelled his name right. Frankly, he was running out of options, or at least normal ones. Not that that seemed like it would stop him if he wanted to get creative.

Ronan welcomed creativity.

Without much fanfare, Ronan paid, muttered have a good one through his teeth, and stalked out of the coffee shop.

Fucking Row Nan.

Mary, mother of God, he couldn’t get enough of the barista. He was awful at his job. Completely unapologetic. Borderline rude.

Ronan hoped he worked at that goddamned cafe until the end of the world. Or at least until Ronan — maybe, probably — moved back home.

Neither had happened by the next morning, but the guy still remained behind the register when Ronan walked into Fox Way. A miracle really, considering the universe had rarely worked in his favor so continuously. But that morning, as soon as Ronan made it to the front of the line, he stopped the barista before he had the chance to grab a cup and wield his marker.

“No,” Ronan said, continuing so quickly he didn’t leave space for debate or contradiction. “Today, I’m gonna spell it out. Since phonetics doesn’t seem to work for you.”

The barista stared at Ronan for a moment, and after his lean chest and wiry shoulders rose and fell with a long inhale and a long exhale, he nodded. “Okay,” he said. “Spell it.”

For the first time since he’d probably learned how to spell it when he was a kid, Ronan spelled his name. He enunciated every single letter so plainly and clearly they couldn’t be misinterpreted. He tried to make it so foolproof that there was no way the barista could possibly get it wrong, and God save him if he couldn’t get it right with Ronan spelling it letter by letter.

In hindsight, Ronan should have been watching the barista’s pretty hands, not the concentration on his face — the knit of his eyebrows, the slight tuck to one corner of his lips. Because after he’d filled Ronan’s cup with coffee and set it on the counter, Ronan got a look at this attempt at his name and said, “That is the worst way anyone has ever spelled my name.”

In a single column down the side of the cup, the first letter of each line one atop another, the barista had written:

Ahr.

Oh.

En.

Ay.

En.

“It’s phonetic,” the barista replied, and as Ronan slowly shook his head, the barista finally fucking smiled at him, so elastic and amiable Ronan almost swayed into the person waiting in line behind him. “Can I get you anything else?”

Utterly speechless, Ronan shook his head again — quicker this time — before he floundered through tapping his credit card for payment and then muttering an unintelligible string of words that may have contained thanks, have a good one, I’m in love with you, or some amalgamation of the three before he wandered out of the cafe without putting a lid on his cup. He didn’t need a lid anyway. As soon as he made it to his car, he dumped the coffee in the gutter and used his black t-shirt to dry the inside of the cup because he was never throwing it away. He’d keep it as a memento of the day the still-nameless barista smiled at him for the first time. Hopefully genuinely. Ronan didn’t even care that the move left him smelling freshly brewed for the rest of the day either. That had the opportunity to irritate Declan or give him another ulcer, and Ronan couldn’t pass those chances up.

He still smelled freshly brewed the following morning because he rolled out of bed and grabbed a shirt from the towering pile of laundry on the chair in the corner of Declan’s guest room, not realizing it was the same shirt he’d worn the day before. Once Ronan had realized it, he’d been too lazy to change, and seeing as he’d blend right in with the aromas of the only place he planned on going, it didn’t matter anyway. It wasn’t like the hot barista could tell the difference between one plain black t-shirt and another. Ronan barely could, which was how he’d found himself smelling like a coffee shop again in the first place.

And that didn’t matter either anyway, because the hot barista wasn’t behind the counter when Ronan walked into Fox Way Cafe. In his usual place stood the short chick who’d been working the espresso machine — twice her size, so Ronan didn’t know how she’d operated it — the past few mornings, and a ghost-like guy worked the machine in her place. Ronan could have turned around and walked right back out the door — he didn’t need coffee the way all the caffeine addicts that kept the cafe in business did — but he stopped himself from retreating to his car when the chick barista called out, “Welcome to Fox Way.”

Caught before he could leave, Ronan gritted his teeth and approached the register. Stunted, he said, “Hi.”

“What can I get you?” this barista — BLUE according to the all caps name printed on the shiny label of the name tag pinned to her apron, and what the hell kind of name was Blue? — asked him when he stopped in front of her.

The completely different approach to serving customers nearly gave Ronan whiplash.

“Just coffee,” he told her.

She grabbed a cup from the stack beside the register and turned to fill it from the pot behind her, glancing at Ronan over her shoulder. “Room for cream and sugar?”

He shook his head as he watched her until he recognized a verbal response was probably warranted. Snapping himself out of his mystification from the one-eighty between how this barista and the hot barista operated, Ronan said, “No. No thanks.”

Pivoting back to Ronan, a little coffee sloshed over the rim of the cup as Blue set it down on the counter. “Lids are behind you,” she told him. “Can I get you anything else?”

And then it wasn’t only the superior customer service throwing Ronan for a loop, but also something Blue had neglected when she’d been taking his order. Something Ronan hadn’t been subjected to in days, though it had colored every single one of his visits to the cafe.

In what probably sounded like it came out of left field, he said, “You didn’t ask for my name.”

Blue blinked, so at least Ronan wasn’t the only one being thrown for a loop during this transaction. “Excuse me?”

“When you took my order,” he explained. “You didn’t ask for my name.”

Slowly, like Ronan had regressed to kindergarten and needed an everyday occurrence spelled out to him very simply, Blue told him, “We usually don’t when someone just gets coffee.”

“But the guy yesterday…” Ronan trailed off as he started putting two and two together. The hot barista had definitely been messing around with him. He had to have been. Which could have been the most fucked up way anyone had ever flirted with Ronan.

He found he kind of loved it.

“Oh,” Blue replied, dragging the word out as she narrowed her eyes at Ronan. “You.”

“Me what?”

“Adam mentioned you.”

“Adam,” Ronan said. He could not have thought of a more fortuitous name for the hot barista if he’d tried. “Mentioned me.”

“Yeah,” Blue replied. Her mouth twisted a little as she swept her gaze over Ronan, and when she met his eye again, she added, “You know what? That —” she jerked her chin at Ronan’s coffee “— is on the house.”

“Why?”

“Because Adam’s a shithead and you’re the only person who hasn’t complained about him.”

Ronan’s heart turned solid in his chest and started slowly sinking toward his stomach with the implication that the hot barista — Adam — wouldn’t be around Fox Way anymore. “Did he get fired or something?”

“No.” Blue shook her head and her dangling soda tab earrings rattled Ronan’s heart back into his chest where it belonged. “He has an organic chem lab. He’ll be back tomorrow. But some of our customers won’t be.”

More Adam for him, Ronan supposed. And he has an organic chem lab? Maybe Ronan hadn’t been too far off with the Einstein comment the other morning. That one sentence alone — combined with the Hooked on Phonics thing from Adam — proved he was way, way too academically overqualified to be working at Fox Way. He'd probably dicked around with Ronan, in part, to keep himself from dying of boredom. Even Ronan would pick an organic chemistry lab over working the cafe's register. Or possibly just a regular chemistry lab given he hadn't made it out of high school.

Picking up his coffee, Ronan — with absolute sincerity he didn't often display — said, “Thanks.”

Not just for the free coffee, but for finally allowing him to learn the hot barista’s name.

“No problem, man,” Blue replied, pert. “See you tomorrow.”

Needless to say, Ronan would be back. Not only because he had confirmation Adam was on the schedule, but because a lightbulb turned on in Ronan’s brain as he walked to his BMW, and instead of driving back to Declan's, he brought up the closest office supply store on his phone’s GPS.

When he walked into Fox Way Cafe the next morning, Ronan was not empty handed, and he got in line and waited his turn until he stood on the opposite side of the counter from Adam. Again, before Adam could grab a cup, Ronan stopped him. Not with an explanation or display he hoped would finally coerce Adam into spelling his name correctly, but with an offering.

“What’s this?” Adam asked, looking warily at Ronan’s hand, palm-up and extended toward him.

“A name tag,” Ronan replied. “Since it looks like this place is too cheap to make you one.”

The night before, Ronan had had too much fun teaching himself how to use a label maker, and for months after Ronan moved out, Declan would find labels around his townhouse on things that absolutely did not need labeling: the watch he wore only on special occasions, the bottle of lotion in his bedside drawer, the bad art he thought he kept well-hidden in the attic. Most importantly though, Ronan had used the label maker to print a name tag for Adam, which Ronan had smoothed onto a plastic badge he’d scoured Northern Virginia for so it was identical to the one he’d seen pinned to Blue.

Ronan had also had too much fun coming up with horrible ways of spelling Adam’s name, but he liked the one he’d settled on.

Ahdym.

Though Adam pressed his thin lips into a thin line, they twitched — more than once — as he looked at the tag in Ronan’s hand. For a second, Ronan doubted he would take it. That Adam had really just been fucking with him, not flirting with him at all. But finally — without saying thanks because, as Blue had confirmed, Adam was a shithead — Adam took the tag with his long, lean fingers and smoothly pinned it to the front of his apron before he looked at Ronan and asked, “Just coffee?”

“Yeah.” Ronan nodded, fighting valiantly to stop himself from smiling but losing. “Just coffee.”

Despite not needing to, Adam uncapped his marker as he picked up a cup, and what he wrote on the side of it was definitely longer than Ronan’s name in whatever horribly ridiculous way Adam chose to write it this time. But when Adam filled the cup and set Ronan’s coffee down on the counter, Ronan saw his name hadn’t been written on it at all.

The side of the cup read Adam with a phone number scrawled beneath it, and just under the number, Adam had written call me.

Likes, reblogs, kudos, and comments are much appreciated. 💕

#my fics #pynch #the raven cycle

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ecogirl2759 · 3 months ago

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I am posting to literally every Fandom rn and I'm sorry but I neeeeed to get this out

I LOVE looking at Malorn Ashthorn through a very literal lense. Because that makes him literally one of the most tragic characters in Wiz <3

(Came back up after writing this whole post and realized it's kinda sorta very long. So, full rant is under the break ^w^)

Edit: Please forgive any spelling mistakes, I wrote this all on my phone, which sucks lol

Every time you go to Ravenwood, he's there. Malorn, without fail, is always standing by the crater at all times. (This is what I mean by literal lol, since his sprite just wasn't put in any other locations.) Other students keep coming and going throughout the day, able to take rests in their dorms and occasionally go on field assignments, but Malorn can't do that. He just has to stand there. Waiting.

He's practically forced to be there, too. He's "Acting Professor Ashthorn" after all. He has to be there just in case a student drops by, and everyone works on their own schedule. That includes all the other Death students, especially since they're on independent study and literally have no time table to work off of. So, to make sure he can actually do his job, he needs to be ready at all times. He needs to always be on the clock. He can't leave.

What's more, he can't even go to the headmaster's office. He can't leave his station, so he can't go negotiate with Ambros. He can't ask for breaks. He can't catch up on news. He can't give or receive progress reports, assignments or updates. Unless he's deliberately called, he is, quite literally, trapped in this catch22 of seclusion.

Malorn also can't further his own learning in any meaningful way. All his other fellow students are off on assignments, doing practical work and honing their spells. Not to mention that it seems--based on Penny's side quest--that Ambros is the one who gives them their work. But Malorn can't move. Even if he got assignments, he would never be able to complete them. He's literally not allowed to learn.

Also, no one really ever shows up to Malorn's little corner of Ravenwood anymore. The other students don't actually need to go to him for anything, since they know most if not all the same spells he does, as well as not needing to turn their assignments in to him. New lore suggests that studying Death magic is wildly unpopular now that Malistaire is dead/evil/dead again, and old lore states that the already existing Death students are actively being discouraged from continuing their studies / persuaded to study different schools. Considering how few Death students you come across in-game, (keeping in mind that they have to be out and about since they have no classroom to congregate in,) it's probably safe to assume that many of the previous Death students were successfully deterred. I can't imagine Malorn sees much traffic anymore.

Even after the Death School is found by the Wizard and classes are said to resume, (even though the connection to Nightside is unstable? Eh, anyway,) Malorn is never seen outside of his usual spot. He literally cannot go to class anymore because he's too busy being Acting Professor. He now has to stand there in his usual spot, directing students to the actual Death School. (Because no one can put the building back, I guess. -_-)

And Malorn isn't even recognized for his hard work, either! Despite always being as helpful and friendly as possible, doing a pretty great job at being Acting Professor (if you ask me), he's never rewarded. The Wizard graduates, and Dwargyn is promoted to Death Professor. AND MALORN STILL HAS TO JUST STAND THERE!

Though, that also calls into question whether or not he actively wanted the role of Acting Professor or not. Sure, he's great at it, and yeah, he makes the most with what he can. But is he Acting Professor because he genuinely wanted to take up that mantle, or is he Acting Professor because he was the best of the Death students at the time? (I mean, I imagine it's because he wanted to, but we technically don't know for certain.)

Last but not least, no one likes the Death School kids. Both in old and new lore, some of the kids express how creepy the Death School is to them. They think the Death students are weird and freaky. The kids are ostracized by the rest of the Ravenwood student body simply because necromancy gives them the heebie-jeebies. So for Malorn to be stuck in Ravenwood, all day every day, surrounded by people who other him and look down on him not only because he's a necromancer, but because (I imagine) some of the kids would see his title of Acting Professor as him "sucking up to Ambros" or "thinking he's as great as Malistaire was" or "looking down on other regular students" or any other number of uncharitable assumptions. It would be hard for anyone to handle that kind of treatment for an extended period of time, including Malorn.

Malorn probably feels an immense amount of pressure from everyone's expectations of him as a Death student, an honor student, and as Acting Professor. Even though there's nothing for him to do most of the time, he still has to do it perfectly. He can't afford to fail his classmates. His friends. He's now in charge of their education, so if they fall behind, he'll be the one to blame. He has to show Ambros that Death is still worth studying, even if Malistaire might be gone. He can't make the Death School seem weak in the eyes of the other students by slacking off or being inhospitable. So he keeps a smile on his face as he stands by himself, forced to play Professor without ever getting the recognition or power of one, all while still being a student actively in school, unable to grow and get stronger with his peers due to being secluded and forbidden to leave.

"Acting Professor Ashthorn" isn't even a Professor. He's just a lonely school boy, trying to do his best, yet always coming up short.

It's sad.

#ecogirl #ramble #wiz101 #wizard101 #malorn ashthorn #death school #long post #Would this count as a character analysis?#This isn't even mentioning what Malorn must be thinking on a daily basis #He's probably really insecure. always worried he's going to mess something up #Most of his thoughts are probably “Malistaire would never have these problems”#Him not being promoted to the official Death School Professor is such a sham #Malorn doesn't even have anyone to talk to #He has to keep all his thoughts and emotions bottled up because he has no one to tell them to #I'm just waiting for the day he explodes #Can you tell I kinda sorta really love Malorn?#He's probably my favorite Wiz NPC ever #I want more Malorn content Kingsisle please #(Can you also tell I started writing this at 2am?)

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misslavenderlady · 1 year ago

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Lost Boys - TransFem AU

Part 3: Santa Carla and The Lost Boys

Truly a babe if ever there was one 💕

Mikayla Emerson

Once Mikayla gets to Santa Carla, she starts turning heads of some very special boys~

part 1 HERE, part 2 HERE

The events of the movie are pretty identical to what happens to Mikayla. She moves to Santa Carla after her parents' divorce and Lucy says it's a good change.

A difference in events is how things go with Grandpa. He's still his goofy self, but is a bit surprised to see how Mikayla looks. The last time he saw her, it was before she began HRT. However, Lucy had a long talk over the phone with him prior to their move, and he was very welcoming to his granddaughter.

As a welcome home present, Grandpa gives her a locket that belonged to her grandmother. Sam still gets taxidermy. Safe to say, Mikayla likes her gift a lot more.

Finding work has its challenges for Mikayla. She's able to use her looks to get a few job applications in to some shops, but the downside is that...80s sexism is very much a thing. It's a pain, but she's determined to help her mother in any way she can.

Mikayla and Sam still go to the concert, and she still spots Star. She's a lot more shy, as she's worried about how Star would feel about a girl having a crush on her. While Sam is at the comic book store, Mikayla decides to suck it up, and talk to Star.

She compliments her beautiful appearance, and to her delight, Star compliments her gorgeous hair and makeup. They have a bonding moment together, developing a friendship with a budding attraction to one another as well. She hopes to see Star again soon.

Little does she know she's going to meet someone else as well.

David and the boys didn't get a chance to see Mikayla the night she spoke to Star. They are, however, still instructed by Max to go after the children. Max is a very old fashioned man with outdated ideas about gender expectations. So he believes Lucy has two sons, not understanding that's not the case.

Because of this, the Lost Boys are on the lookout for a BOY. So when David spots a beautiful girl walking side by side with Star, he gets so captivated by her that he nearly crashed his bike into a lamp post.

The girls catch what happened, and Mikayla is the one to run over to David. Obviously he's not hurt, but she's still worried. Her big, blue eyes widening and her glossy lips pouting as she asks "hey, are you okay?"

David immediately turns on the charm.

"Well I must have gotten into an accident and died since I'm looking at an angel right now~"

Mikayla is FLUSTERED. He thinks her flushed cheeks are extra cute.

When the other boys get a look at her they are in full "babe alert" mode. They circle around her, not crowding her but making it clear they all think she's very beautiful. Star is annoyed that they're trying to cut in on girl time, but still introduces her new friend.

They are all so incredibly smitten, eager to get to know her better. They decide to put Max's plan on the back burner for the time being, not realizing they're inviting their very target to spend some time with them.

The first night in the cave is wildly different this time around. The boys have turned up the charm to 11, and want to make her comfortable, not play mind games with rice and noodles.

Dwayne breaks out his trusty skateboard to show off some tricks and see what she can do too. Paul pulls her onto his lap and gets his lips so close to hers that they're practically kissing before blowing smoke into her mouth (he offers it as a fun alternative to smoking the weed he has). When Marko returns with their food, he shows off his Italian skills to her, even calling her "Bella" and "Principessa".

Mikayla isn't used to such affection from such handsome boys. She enjoys their hospitality, but still holds her underlying fear of being rejected (or God forbid, attacked) if they learned more about her identity. The boys mistake her caution for shyness, and find it extra cute.

Star notices it too, and she begins to worry that Mikayla doesn't like them coming on so strong. She still tells the boys to leave her alone, just in a different context this time.

They enjoy her company all throughout the night. All of them like her, and see a great deal of potential in her as another member of their coven. Towards end of their time, David has some one-on-one time with her, and finds out she has a little brother named Sam. The gears start turning in his head and between that, her recent move from Phoenix and learning her mother works at the video store, he realizes that Mikayla is the one he's supposed to pursue.

He thinks Max is a total idiot for misgendering Mikayla.

David asks her to have some fun with them another night before toasting to her new addition into their club (with the blood, of course). She's still cautious and uncertain as to David's motives, but can't deny she's quite infatuated with him. They drink, and David helps her get home safe by following her on his own bike. He sends her on her way with a kiss on the back of her hand.

yadda yadda yadda train stuff still happens and Mikayla almost attacks Sam as the blood takes over her body.

In an interesting turn of events, David makes sure Star isn't at the cave the night Mikayla comes looking for answers. Mikayla is still very frightened by what's happening to her, but unlike Star saying she can't help, David calms her down, and explains everything.

He's open and honest and patient when she starts to pick a fight, not happy about what's happened to her. David promises her that she is safe, and that all of the boys and Star like her. He's still his manipulative self, twisting her mind to see that they can take care of her. She won't be alone. They want to be with her. The sweet nothings get to Mikayla, as she admits she doesn't want to be alone.

David kisses her, and to Mikayla's relief, he very much accepting of her being trans. This time around, David is the one to have sex with her in the cave~

Sam is worried about his sister and the Frogs are itching to hunt, but Mikayla has fallen in love, and it's about to let her fellow vampires get hurt. She hopes to patch things up with her brother and keep everyone safe. She knows that Max is dangerous, and will do whatever possible to get her happy ending.

Bonus:

Each member of the coven has a special nickname for her

David - My girl/darling

Dwayne - Beautiful

Marko - Principessa

Paul - Mama/Babe

Star - Mickey (It's what the girls on Mikayla's cheer squad called her. It's based off the Toni Basil song "Hey, Mickey")

#transfem Michael Emerson #the lost boys #tlb #lavender lady rambles #michael emerson #mikayla emerson #tlb au

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mylostlenora · 7 months ago

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more queer (mostly sapphic) books on my tbr pt. 2!🤍🤍

1. Solita, Vivien Rainn

“Sadie is her name, and she is passing through the motions of a life soaked through with the stench of death. Grief-ridden nightmares plague her every sleepless night, only to continue into the day when she awakens to the burden of running her family’s centuries-old estate:

The Hacienda Espinosa, a yawning, black-wooded beast of a mansion nestled in the jungles of the Philippines' Palawan Island, a house that offers Sadie nothing but a perpetual reminder of what once was, what can never be again. She is alone, save for the sound of her own lonely, broken heartbeat—that is until the day she hears another. And it’s coming from beneath the floorboards.

Unearthing what was left to rot beneath the house, Sadie realizes her fatal mistake; the dark secret was never buried to be forgotten. It was buried to be sealed away.

It’s no mortal, no man, but the Hacienda’s first owner—a demon.

And he’s nothing like she expects.

It’s only through facing the past and her buried fears can Sadie find salvation as she upturns the Hacienda’s twisted roots, roots born from the faith and fire of the conquistas, the Spaniards who came from distant shores, bringing with them not only their God, but also their demons.”

2. In the Roses of Pieria, Anna Burke

“When Clara Eden is offered a job as an archivist working for eccentric estate owner Agatha Montague, she thinks her prayers have been answered. Soon, she finds herself sucked into the world of her research, captivated by a romantic correspondence thousands of years old. But as her feelings for her employer’s assistant, Fiadh, deepen, so too does her suspicion that something about Agatha Montague isn’t quite right. Unfortunately for Clara, by the time her suspicions are confirmed, it is far too late to run.”

3. The Deep, Rivers Solomon

“Yetu holds the memories for her people—water-dwelling descendants of pregnant African slave women thrown overboard by slave owners—who live idyllic lives in the deep. Their past, too traumatic to be remembered regularly is forgotten by everyone, save one—the historian. This demanding role has been bestowed on Yetu.

Yetu remembers for everyone, and the memories, painful and wonderful, traumatic and terrible and miraculous, are destroying her. And so, she flees to the surface escaping the memories, the expectations, and the responsibilities—and discovers a world her people left behind long ago.

Yetu will learn more than she ever expected about her own past—and about the future of her people. If they are all to survive, they’ll need to reclaim the memories, reclaim their identity—and own who they really are.”

4. Our Share of The Night, Mariana Enriquez

“A young father and son set out on a road trip, devastated by the death of the wife and mother they both loved. United in grief, the pair travel to her ancestral home, where they must confront the terrifying legacy she has bequeathed: a family called the Order that commits unspeakable acts in search of immortality.

For Gaspar, the son, this maniacal cult is his destiny. As the Order tries to pull him into their evil, he and his father take flight, attempting to outrun a powerful clan that will do anything to ensure its own survival. But how far will Gaspar’s father go to protect his child? And can anyone escape their fate?

Moving back and forth in time, from London in the swinging 1960s to the brutal years of Argentina’s military dictatorship and its turbulent aftermath, Our Share of Night is a novel like no other: a family story, a ghost story, a story of the occult and the supernatural, a book about the complexities of love and longing with queer subplots and themes. This is the masterwork of one of Latin America’s most original novelists, “a mesmerizing writer,” says Dave Eggers, “who demands to be read.”

5. The Gilda Stories, Jewelle Gomez

“This remarkable novel begins in 1850s Louisiana, where Gilda escapes slavery and learns about freedom while working in a brothel. After being initiated into eternal life as one who "shares the blood" by two women there, Gilda spends the next two hundred years searching for a place to call home. An instant lesbian classic when it was first published in 1991, The Gilda Stories has endured as an auspiciously prescient book in its explorations of blackness, radical ecology, re-definitions of family, and yes, the erotic potential of the vampire story.”

6. To Be Devoured, Sara Tantlinger

“What does carrion taste like? Andi has to know. The vultures circling outside her home taunt and invite her to come understand the secrets hiding in their banquet of decay. Fascination morphs into an obsessive need to know what the vultures know. Andi turns to Dr. Fawning, but even the therapist cannot help her comprehend the secrets she's buried beneath anger-induced blackouts.Her girlfriend, Luna, tries to help Andi battle her inner darkness and infatuation with the vultures. However, the desire to taste dead flesh, to stitch together wings of her own and become one with the flock sends Andi down a twisted, unforgivable path. Once she understands the secrets the vultures conceal, she must decide between abandoning the birds of prey or risk turning her loved ones into nothing more than meals to be devoured." Sara Tantlinger's To Be Devoured capitalizes on our macabre preoccupation with the uglier side of nature, with love that topples into obsession, and with madness that is strangely beautiful in its barbarity.”

#gothic #sapphic horror #sapphic books #sapphic fantasy #dark fantasy #classic #faye #mermaid

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redladydeath · 6 months ago

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Prototype Vox headcanons because the original reblog chain was getting pretty long

Alastor keeps Vox around because he’s cute and entertaining. As time goes on, a legitimate friendship starts to form as Alastor realizes that Vox is far more than meets the eye— tricksy, devious, and intelligent. He learns that before he arrived in Hell, Vox was a handsome, well-respected adult man, and he isn’t too keen on constantly being mistaken for a child and treated like a joke by other sinners. A pity he has to live like that… but it’s not like there’s anything to be done for it! And Alastor must say, he’s fond of his little picture box the way he is.

Time passes, and Vox changes more and more things about himself until he’s almost unrecognizable. He and Alastor get into arguments about it. It’s galling to Vox that Alastor keeps insisting he was better off in a form he hated. Mix all this together with the modernity and “morality”/standards stuff, and you eventually get Vox and Alastor falling out.

---

Freshly fallen Vox seeking out an overlord’s protection because holy shit, if he tries to survive on the streets any longer, he’s gonna get killed, or worse. Most sinners get asked if they can do anything useful when they go to an overlord; Vox gets asked if he can sing, dance, and do comedy routines. He can, so he’s quickly scooped up by the overlord. He supposes he should be grateful that he was able to score a comfortable job doing something not terribly unpleasant, but the dehumanization of being treated like a doll or an adorable purse dog grates on him. He remembers who he really is (or used to be) and would do anything to be seen as a man again rather than a novelty.

---

And then the Radio Demon came walking through the door.

---

Random thoughts about Vox’s overlord

She was enamored with him from the first moment she saw him. He was just so precious! And he was willing to do anything to receive her protection!

Her industry had nothing to do with entertainment; she took Vox in purely to be her own personal jester.

Not sure if she owned his soul or just had a deal with him to give him a safe place to live in exchange for his services.

Loved treating him like a doll. Would dress him in cute, oversized outfits, carry him around in her arms, and occasionally bring him to bed and cuddle him like some sort of plushie.

Vox fucking hated her and was glad to see Alastor bash her brains in and feature her on his show.

---

Thinking about Vox and Alastor’s first encounter.

Alastor might have seen Vox before at an overlord event, being shown off by his boss or performing for her friends. He may have seen him for the first time when he walked into Vox’s overlord’s office and saw her toying with him. Either way, Alastor was immediately intrigued. He hadn’t seen many sinners like Vox, with his screen head and cartoony body, and could instantly tell he was a highly skilled performer. His eyes followed him, even as Vox’s overlord put him aside and ordered him to go get her and Alastor drinks. Vox could tell Alastor was watching him but wasn’t sure what to do about it. It’s probably not a good sign when the infamous Radio Demon is eying you like you’re his next meal.

No matter what happens, the outcome is the same: Vox found himself teleported onto the streets of Hell with Alastor looming over him. He frantically attempted to talk Alastor out of killing him, but Al just laughed jovially and told Vox that he had no intention of harming him. Vox was free to leave whenever he wanted, but Alastor would like to see just how entertaining he truly was.

---

Next thing Vox knew, he was nearly blinded by pain as his boss twisted his antenna nearly to its breaking point. Her voice sickeningly sweet, she told him that she knew exactly what kind of man he had been— Earth’s crawling with them. But those days are over now. Respect has to be earned in Hell; it’s not just going to be handed to him like when he was alive. The afterlife has made him a joke, and the sooner he accepts that, the happier he'll be. That’s what he signed up for when they made their little arrangement, after all. She asked if she was understood and kept twisting his antenna until she got a loud-and-clear “Yes, ma’am” out of him. With that, she snapped back to normal and either cheerfully ushered him towards [whatever she was forcing him to do] or dismissed him in her typical patronizing manner.

Vox broke half the items in his room that night in a rage. He tried to leave gouges on his skin and dents in his head, but he couldn’t manage it, what with his stupid, soft little hands.

---

It doesn’t really fit with my headcanon that Alastor was super white-passing when he was alive and spent most of his life pretending to be white in order to have more opportunities, but I feel like he may have felt a kinship with Proto-Vox due to them both being “outsiders”— people who are/were constantly dismissed by those in power and have to work twice as hard in order to be taken seriously, even though they’re more skilled and competent than everyone else in the room. And so it hurt all the more when Vox leapt at the first opportunity to change who he was in order to join the class of people who has once looked down on him. It didn’t fully click with Alastor that Vox wasn’t always like this– that he was trying to return to who he once was rather than abandoning who he’d always been.

---

To most outside observers, it really looked as though the relationship between Vox and his overlord was genuinely loving. She’s was just so affectionate with him. There was never a moment when she wasn’t tittering away at his jokes, or playing with his antennas or plug tail, or scooping him up into her arms or lap, or hugging or tickling or cuddling him, or covering him in kisses, or coming up with adorable pet names, or showing him off to others as though he were the rarest gem she’d ever come across. No one ever seemed to notice that Vox was never the one to initiate these kind of interactions. Depending on who you asked, it was either the most adoring master-servant arrangement Hell had ever seen, a (possibly biological?) mother-son dynamic, or just an INCREDIBLY kinky relationship. Vox played his part well, laughing along and hardly ever letting the smiling mask slip. No one ever could’ve guessed just how much he loathed her and the entire humiliating situation, or how cruel she could be whenever he dared drop the act.

Well, no one except Alastor, that is.

---

Personal, headcanon-specific thoughts:

Proto Vox’s outfit is very similar to a costume he wore during his childhood on Vaudeville.

Alternate option: While I hc that sinners spawn naked, if they don’t, then Vox spawned in the exact 1920s sailor suit he used to wear during most of his childhood performances.

---

And then his boss comes walking in, complaining about what a stressful day she’s had, and the illusion that this is Vox’s office shatters. He hops down to the floor, taking his dance/comedy routine notes with him. His boss is busy getting herself a drink, so he hopes she didn’t notice him sitting in her chair. He starts trying to engage her in conversation, switching to his work persona (cheerful, cutesy, and childish). She did notice him, but she just smiles indulgently and says he always knows just what to do to cheer her up— he looked so silly sitting at her big, important desk. Now, she needs a bit of comfort; they’ll be going to bed now. She scoops Vox up as easily as if he were a doll and carries him off to serve as her (very angular) teddy bear. Vox keeps the adoring smile plastered on his face and tries to put aside the burning shame and rage that this is what the afterlife has reduced him to: a child, a pet, a toy meant to entertain those who wield the actual power.

---

Made Vox's room in the Sims

---

Vox tried to walk out of his job, once. His boss pushed him too far, and he snapped, yelling at her to find someone else to play this fucked up game with; he’d rather take his chances on the streets. Next thing he knew, he was bound, muted, and blindfolded, being crammed into a tiny suitcase. His overlord told him to reflect on what he’d said. There’s no life after second death, only nothingness. Is that really a risk he wants to take?

Vox was in “storage” for the next week. He didn’t try to leave again after that.

---

Thinking about Proto Vox and body dysmorphia

Vox hated everything about his body.

He hated being so small, not even half the size of most other sinners.

He hated his face, cute and goofy-looking. He hated his “missing tooth,” which only added to his childish appearance.

He hated his head, oversized and heavy. He hated how clumsy it made him at first, before he became accustomed to it.

He hated not having a physical mouth and being unable to eat.

He hated his voice, higher pitched than it had been when he was alive. He hated the childish-sounding lisp he had been afflicted with.

He hated how he couldn’t swear or talk about adult topics without his voice being drowned out by an in-built censor.

He hated his body and its strange combination of wood and metal, both of which bent in ways that shouldn’t’ve been possible.

He hated his hands, soft and rounded and nailless.

He hated how he had spawned without genitals, completely smooth and sexless, like a doll.

He hated how no one perceived him as anything even remotely resembling a sexual being, even though he was a fully grown man who had once had his pick of beautiful women when he was alive.

He hated how he weighed almost nothing, making him easy for others to pick up or restrain.

He hated the way nothing in Hell was built to accommodate sinners his size, forcing him to climb (or be lifted onto) things as simple as chairs.

He hated the way his boss made him dress; in baggy outfits that made his smallness even more apparent, in children’s clothes, in silly, oh-so adorable costumes. He especially hated when she insisted on dressing him herself, as if he was her doll.

He hated how often people mistook him for a child or deliberately talked down to him as though he was stupid, just because of his ridiculous body.

He hated how people laughed at him and how he had no choice but to make them laugh in order to keep himself alive.

---

Vox realized that he had a voyeurism kink the third time his boss had sex with someone while he was still in the room. Probably not the outcome she intended, but it wasn’t like Vox could do anything about it anyway. He still felt sexual desire, but he’d spawned in Hell without genitals, so that energy had nowhere to go. Just another lovely part of Vox’s Wonderful Afterlife.

---

Most sinners are horrified when they see their new forms for the first time. Vox was just devastated.

He was horrified when he first woke up, of course– transported to a strange new place, surrounded by giant monsters, and barely able to keep from swaying under the weight of his oversized head. No one paid him and his panic any mind, save for a few smirks and chuckles. Vox found himself pressed up against a wall, out of the way of the flow of pedestrians, and trying to process what was going on. Once he realized something was wrong with his body, he ducked into a nearby store, desperate to find a mirror (and get away from the crowds of fellow sinners). The store clerk let him in; they weren’t supposed to let newlydead into the shop since they usually just cause a scene, but Vox looked harmless, and they felt a little bad for such a tiny, fearful sinner. Vox made a beeline for the nearest mirror.

When his reflection finally came into view, Vox… he was lost for words. Seeing his childlike proportions, it finally registered that the world hadn’t gotten bigger; he’d gotten smaller. His body… there was something wrong with it. It was made of wood and metal, like a puppet; only the materials seemed to bend like flesh or rubber. Worse than that, it was completely smooth and featureless; his genitals were simply gone. His hands were soft, rounded, and nailless, more like stuffed gloves than human hands. His head was encased— no, not encased, replaced with a television set that looked like it comprised most of his body weight. Displayed on its screen was a face like something out of a cartoon: large, shiny, googly eyes, a wide mouth, and one conspicuously absent tooth. All topped off with a pair of floppy, overly long antennas that made him resemble some kind of insect.

Vox was speechless, staring at his new body. He felt tears bubbling up as he examined each part of it; he wasn’t sure how, but some part of him knew this wasn’t a dream and that this form would not be temporary. No tears fell though, trapped behind the glass of the— his— screen. He couldn’t recall the moment of his death, but the realization of where he must be began to dawn on him. A soft, despairing sound escaped him, and Vox realized his voice, too, had been changed. He was not himself anymore, just this tiny, adorable thing, right out of the cartoons he’d been trying to repair the TV so his children could watch. A joke.

Suddenly, Vox felt someone grab him by the arm, dragging him away from the mirror, his feet barely brushing the floor. The owner had noticed a newlydead had snuck in and was having the prerequisite “What have I become?” freakout in their store. Carelessly, they shoved/threw Vox back onto the street and slammed the door behind them. Reeling, trying to wrap his mind around the gravity of the situation, Vox stumbled and collapsed on the sidewalk, surrounded by sinners who either stepped around him like he was nothing or paused for a moment to snicker at the clumsy newlydead, struggling to regain his balance under the weight of his massive head.

---

Vox's own shitty beliefs ended up being used against him during his early years in Hell.

In life, he'd treated his wife and son poorly because they complained about being unhappy with how things were. Vox believed that if all your physical needs were met and you were able to live comfortably, you had no right to complain. He provided them with everything, and all he asked for in return was for them to be the happy, perfect wife/son he expected them to be. What was so hard about that?!

---

Words were Vox's boss' preferred weapon when it came to surreptitiously tormenting him, but she wasn't above using physical violence as a means of "discipline" either. Aside from the antenna and "storage" incidents, she'd occasionally employ some "percussive maintenance" at the beginning of his time with her in response to breaks in character or sullen comments. Once or twice, she burnt him with cigarettes in response to particularly "bad" offenses.

---

Vox's boss would give him gifts sometimes. Little presents wrapped up all pretty with a bow. Sometimes, they were for special occasions, like the anniversary of his "coming to live with her"; sometimes, they were "rewards for good behavior." Vox would accept the presents graciously and then never open them, leaving them to collect dust in his room. There were a few occasions when she made him open them in front of her, though. Usually, they were just quaint little trinkets or clothes, but once, she gifted him a goldfish (or the Hellish equivalent) in a tiny bowl. It was the closest to something he'd actually want, yet it still felt like a veiled taunt. It didn't take long for the fish to die; its bowl was too small.

---

Vox does his absolute best to keep his past secret from everyone, particularly Valentino. He knows on some level that it wouldn’t really change anything, other than give Val and Vel something else to tease him about, but Vox’s ego is so fragile that he feels like he’d die again if they found out. Unfortunately for him, Valentino is incredibly observant when he wants to be. He doesn’t know the specifics, but based on various little things from throughout the years and the pointed insults he’s heard Alastor throw at Vox, he can guess that Vox’s early days in Hell were less than auspicious. However, he assumes Vox was just some corporate toady, and would be just as shocked as everyone else to learn how Vox actually began his afterlife.

---

Thinking about a really on-the-nose scene where, back when he was alive, Vox and his wife got into a shouting match and she accused him of only seeing her and their children as accessories– dolls for him to move around to create the image of a perfect, happy family, only to abandon as soon as he's done with them. Then cut to Vox in Hell, being treated like an accessory. He hates it, but he hadn't quite made the connection between his current situation and his sins on Earth yet (and he never will).

#redlady speaks #hazbin posting #hazbin hotel #vox #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #vox hazbin #hazbin vox #vox the tv demon #long posts #proto vox au

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catch-me-hello · 12 days ago

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I-Land, Episode 3: Fire

It’s voting time again on the I-Land! It pretty much always is! Seriously though, this is a big deal. Half the I-Landers are going to the Ground, and I’m really interested to see what happens with Ni-Ki and Ta-Ki’s one-sided friendship. Let’s do this.

I’m just going to skip Namgoong Min’s intros and other appearances. He’s basically just recapping the show, which is my job. So we’ll open on the I-Landers, bummed out by their group score and trying to get their heads around the fact that they have to vote six of their own out. Always eager to put the giant egg timer to use, the announcer says voting will begin in twelve hours, and the countdown starts.

During this time, the I-Landers can find out their individual scores. The highest score is 75, and everyone’s wondering who got that one. I’m kind of hoping it’s Heeseung. The I-Landers think it’s Ni-Ki.

Back at the Ground, which the show always films in dim light to make it look like a Legion of Doom hangout, our dropouts learn that six of them will get promoted. They are overjoyed. After the vote in twelve hours, they will learn which of them will be going to the I-Land.

Back to the I-Land. Geonu says, “I think everybody realizes what reality is now.” There are a lot of ways to interpret that line, and I think he means all of them.

Everyone has split up in small groups around the facility, still dealing with what they have to do. Also, we learn that everyone has found out their individual scores, but no one is sharing that information. Each trainee went separately into the voting room to see their own score on the touch screen.

First, we see future Enhypen Leader Jungwon checking his. It’s 75. Jungwon got the highest score. I don’t know why he’s not telling the others, unless he thinks they won’t believe him. Or that he’s bragging.

Meanwhile, Jake is still kicking himself for dropping his headset mic during the performance. I don’t think he knows the judges didn’t hold it against him. Then we get a flashback of Jake seeing his score. He got the lowest score of 40. Oof. Imagine what it would have been if the judges HAD counted the dropped mic against him.

Back in the discussion groups, Jungwon says he wouldn’t vote someone out based on their score. Daniel announces he’s not going to tell anyone his score. We get a flashback of Daniel checking his score. It’s 70. Wow. That score could save him, but he’s making a point of not telling anyone.

We learn a few of the other scores. Youngbin, who freaked out over individual assessments and helped kick Heeseung out of the Leader/Center position, got a 47. Nicholas, whom I have almost no notes about except that he’s a street dancer from Taiwan, got a 46.

Ni-Ki is sitting by himself, just staring at the living room wall. He tells us he blames himself for the group’s low score because he was the Leader/Center. He says if Heeseung had kept that position, the group probably would have gotten a higher score.

Now we get a flashback of Ni-Ki checking his score. It’s a 65. Not the best, but not the worst. It’s the fifth highest score. He isn’t quite sure how to react when he sees it.

The countdown finishes. I’m guessing the twelve hours was overnight, so I doubt anyone got any sleep. Our I-Landers go back to the touch screen, one by one, and cast their votes. Then they gather in their chairs around the giant egg timer. Let’s see who’s getting kicked out.

The first one received eleven votes. Every single one of this person’s teammates voted him out. That has to suck. It’s Youngbin. You know what? I’m fine with that. He doesn’t seem cut out for this. None of the others can meet his eyes. With a unanimous vote, no one can pretend to be innocent.

The second one got eleven votes. It’s Daniel, the one who got the second highest score of 70. Did he really not tell anyone? If so, that was a mistake. I hope EJ isn’t the one who will replace him.

The third one to get eliminated got ten votes. It’s Jake. I know we’ll see him fight his way back. He’s an Aussie. He’s tough.

Now for the fourth one, with nine votes. It’s Jay, which crushes me. First of all, that’s the second future Enhypen member in a row to get voted out. Secondly, Jay has been trying so damn hard. We never got to see his individual score. I know he’ll also fight his way back, but for now, this sucks.

Two more to go. Please no more Enhypen members.

The fifth one received eight votes. It’s Nicholas, our Taiwanese trainee with the low score of 46. He was in Ni-Ki’s unit coming in. The third member of that unit, Hanbin from Vietnam, is already at the Ground.

Now for the last one, who also got eight votes. It’s Ni-Ki. Oof. Again, he might have saved himself if he had shared his score, but if he’s going to get a redemption arc for the way he treated Ta-Ki, he needs to be sent to the Ground.

So once these six go down to the Ground, we’ll have a total of four Enhypen members there. Only one of those four, Sunoo, currently has the potential to come up to the I-Land. Our band members are split up.

The announcer tells the eliminated six to turn in their nameplates from their chairs and leave the I-Land. They hug their friends goodbye. Jay and Nicholas promise each other they’re going to make it back. We know Jay will. There’s a dramatic moment when the banners of the eliminated fall from the rafters.

Down at the ground, the dropouts get the announcement that the eliminated ones are on their way. I feel vindicated when these former I-Landers step outside, and the first thing Nicholas says (in English) is, “Fresh air!” Have the I-Landers really spent the past week inside without going outdoors ONCE? That is just so not healthy.

I get an answer when Jay responds by asking, “When was the last time we were outside?” ARE YOU KIDDING ME. The I-Land really is a prison. Still, they all want to get back to that prison as soon as possible. It’s the only chance they have of winning.

The dropouts wait, not knowing which former I-Landers will be joining them, or what they’ll even say to them. It is a little awkward when they arrive, but the reunited friends are happy to see each other. Everyone is surprised to see Ni-Ki here, especially Ta-Ki. “Why?” he keeps asking his hero. “Why did you come here? What happened?” Ni-Ki just hugs him and says, “It’s okay. We can go back.” Oh, now it’s “we.” I really really REALLY hope Ta-Ki gets promoted.

Back at the I-Land, the remaining six are devastated. Most of them are sobbing. They’re wondering who will be joining them from the Ground, and we’re about to find out, as the screen lights up again. Back at the Ground, all eleven dropouts stand anxiously around their screen. I’ve got my fingers crossed for Ta-Ki and Sunoo. The six choices have been made by Rain, Zico, and our three choreographers, one of whom will be fired after this show for being a bad choreographer. When exactly is BTS supposed to get here?

No matter. The names are being announced. Here we go.

The first new I-Lander is Taeyong. We haven’t seen much of him since his initial performance. He’s seventeen years old and was a child actor for eight years. He bursts into happy tears while the former I-Landers, sitting on a bench, try to look happy for him.

Our second new I-Lander is songwriter Jaebeom. I’m happy for him, especially after he flubbed his first daily rehearsal video for the coaches. He must have recovered well for his other videos.

Next up is … oh, goodie. EJ. After trying to screw Daniel over, and now that Daniel’s been sent to the Ground, EJ gets promoted. Faaaaaantastic. Three spots left.

Number Four is Yoonwon. I’m getting nervous for my two picks. Yoonwon is getting a second chance after blowing his initial performance by singing off-key. He’s overjoyed to be back in the game.

Okay. Two more to go. Number Five is … SUNOO! YEAH, BABY! After the devastation of being kicked out by ten of his fellow I-Landers, our future Enhypen member is going back. I love how happy he is. Get back up there and find your bandmates, Sunoo!

One left. Come on, Ta-Ki. Come on…

Our final new I-Lander is … TA-KI!!!! I’m so excited, I almost knock my monitor off the table. Our boy looks stunned. Bewildered. The others are trying to shake him back to reality so they can congratulate him. Oh no. Is he letting his joy be clouded by the fact that he and Ni-Ki will be separated for another week? Please don’t let that be it.

That might actually be it. He goes straight to Ni-Ki and hugs him like he’s afraid to let go. Ni-Ki looks happy for him, but Ta-Ki looks like his dog just died.

There’s a mix of tears and laughter as everyone says goodbye, and I understand the anxiety on the faces of the newly-promoted who haven’t seen the I-Land before. Now they will learn firsthand how tough and demanding it is. They’re also leaving friends behind at the Ground. And most importantly, this is the last breath of fresh air they’ll get for at least a week.

Our boys leave the Ground, excited and scared and overwhelmed. Sunoo is still crying. Ta-Ki seems to have gained some resolve. He says, “I will never go back to the Ground.” I have mixed feelings about that since I know he will get eliminated eventually, but I’m happy that he gets to enjoy some time in the I-Land. And another week away from Ni-Ki.

The gate opens, and the current I-Landers jump up to greet the new arrivals. One of them joyfully calls Ta-Ki’s name. It’s a heartwarming scene as everyone hugs each other. Jungwoon is reunited with his original unit, Taeyong and Yoonwon. The new banners unfurl in the rafters.

Okay. So let’s assess. Enhypen members are highlighted in yellow.

The newbies looks around in amazement, the glow from regular healthy exposure to the sun already fading from their faces. They put their nameplates on their chairs.

The giant egg timer lights up, and the announcer tells them it’s time for the second test. The dropouts are getting the same announcement on the big screen in the Ground facility. This test is about teamwork.

We cut back to the control room, where thankfully our choreographers are gone, and Bang Si Hyuk is back with Rain and Zico. They are upgrading the difficulty of the performance. The dance will require a lot of cooperation. The I-Land is now a 50% new team, so this will be especially difficult.

As the I-Landers are processing this, the song for the second test suddenly bursts out of the speaker system. My heart starts pounding. I know this song. I freaking love this song. It’s “Fire,” one of my favorite BTS songs. Will they be doing this song? THEY WILL BE DOING THIS SONG.

The screen shows the choreo, and they’ve added a dance break to the song with some challenging moves. There will be lifts, jumps, and coordinated falls where the dancers will have to trust and catch each other. This is gonna be REALLY good.

And massively difficult. Right away, the trainees notice that with the tight formation, the whole effect will be ruined if just one person is off balance. And in more good news, the I-Landers are expected to perform this song in six days. Once again, the average of the individual scores will make up the team score. The lower the team score, the more I-Landers will be sent to the Ground.

Now comes a new, interesting part. The residents of the Ground actually have a chance to compete. They will also be learning this song and rehearsing the performance, just like their counterparts in the I-Land. If the I-Landers give a perfect performance with a score high enough to keep any of them from getting kicked out, then the dropouts will not get to do their performance. But if the I-Landers’ score isn’t high enough, the dropouts get to show their performance to the coaches as well.

And we get a twist. The I-Lander with the highest individual score will receive an elimination exemption card. The recipient can use it for himself or to save another I-Lander. If the card is used, then the person who got the next highest number of votes for elimination will be kicked out instead.

Now both teams must divide up the parts. The giant egg timer starts counting down the six days. The new I-Landers are freaking out. The veteran I-Landers are used to this kind of pressure by now.

At the Ground, most of the dropouts are lost because they’ve never chosen parts before. Then Jay, who went through so much last time, speaks up. “This is what I think,” he says. “I experienced this in the I-Land as well. It won’t work if we all try to do it together. We need to choose someone who will lead everything.” His voice of experience reassures the others, and they ask him to be the Leader.

Jay sets up auditions. Everyone dances to the Signal Song. When it’s Jay’s turn to perform, his pent-up resentment and frustration fuels his performance. His moves are sharp, highly energetic, and focused. He tells us he wants to make the I-Landers sorry for voting him out. He gets the First Part/Central/Leader position. I don’t just want Jay to succeed. I want him to blow everyone’s minds.

Ni-Ki gets the Second Part. In a confessional, Jimin tells us how impressed he is by Jay’s ability to keep this process running smoothly.

Back at the I-Land, Heeseung is nominated for the First Part/Center/Leader again. I can tell he’s got mixed feelings after what happened last time. But when no one else wants the part, he decides to give it another shot.

K gets the Second Part. As for the Third Part, it involves a flying move that seems intimidating, but everyone believes future Enhypen Leader Jungwon can do it. New I-Lander Sunoo considers throwing his hat into the ring, but he’s not confident enough in his dancing skills just yet. Jungwon gets the part.

Something interesting and unfortunate is happening here. The new I-Landers lack confidence in volunteering for parts, and the veterans are grabbing all the top parts. Newbie Jaebeom is frustrated with himself for not being bolder, calling himself a “country mouse from the Ground."

Sunoo flat-out tells the group he’s giving up and not going to try to get any of the parts. This is disheartening. It looks like at least five of the Top 7 parts are going to the veterans. The new arrivals are too intimidated to raise their hands. They all get assigned the smaller parts. They’re grateful to be here and glad to get a chance to compete, but they’re feeling very down on themselves right now.

With the parts assigned, the veterans show the newcomers around the I-Land. They’re amazed at everything they see. Here’s where I learn that they do have full windows with sunlight in at least one room. I’m not sure what room this is, but I see chairs on that outside patio, so they must be able to sit outside every now and then.

They choose their new sleeping arrangements. Ta-Ki is asked to show off some locking moves, so that helps form a bond with his new roommates. But Taeyong tells his fellow former dropouts he’s having a hard time adjusting after living at the Ground. Sunoo agrees, saying he feels attached to the Ground. After all the trash-talking they’ve been doing about it, it’s kind of nice to hear this. Although I am a bit concerned when Sunoo, a future Enhypen member, says he feels like he has to go back to the Ground.

Everyone gathers in the dining area to have dinner and talk about the upcoming test. New arrivals Sunoo and Jaebeom sit apart from the others. They don’t feel like part of the group yet. When Sunoo looks over at the veterans, he says it’s like he’s looking at celebrities. They don’t feel worthy of being here, even though their skills in the daily progress videos earned them their spots here. And the “celebrities” they’re intimidated by got a low score on their first test and lost half their teammates as a result.

Sunoo and Jaebeom wonder if the dropouts are eating pizza right now, and Sunoo says, “To be honest, I think the Ground is more comfortable.” Jaebeom agrees, saying he felt more at ease down there. As must as I dislike the facilities at the I-Land, I seriously wasn’t expecting this from the new arrivals. I think what they’re really feeling is the sense of being outclassed by the veterans.

Suddenly, we cut to morning. Ta-Ki is following fellow Japanese trainee K around like an adoring puppy. This sweet kid always needs someone to cling to. K is kind to him and watches out for him, which is nice, I guess. For now. I can’t help wondering if he’s going to be the next one to betray him.

I learn something interesting while they make breakfast. The word for bread in Korean is “ppang,” which sounds like the Spanish word for bread, which is “pan.” I actually thought they were saying “pan” at first and had to look it up. Then I kind of went on a linguistic tangent for a few minutes. The French word for bread is “pain,” which also sounds like “pan.” It’s also “pan” in Japanese and “pane” (pronounced PAN-eh) in Italian. We don’t even get close to the English word until we hit German, which is “brot.” Languages are so cool. Anyway, back to our show.

K and Ta-Ki are now joined at the hip. They eat together, practice together, and hang out together. Ta-Ki talks to us about K the way he used to talk about Ni-Ki. “K is kind,” he says. “K dances really well. I like K.”

Now we cut to the living room, where four of the I-Landers are sprawled out on the couches. Seon asks, “Do you think five days until the test is enough time?” Um, not if you’re going to lay around like this. You have like, fifty state of the art practice rooms in this place. Maybe go practice.

The dropouts know what I mean. We cut to them, and they’re busy learning the choreo. Jay’s leading, and everyone looks focused and determined. They practice almost nonstop until night falls. They’re exhausted. Jay says he knows they’re tired, but they’re under a time crunch.

As the dropouts grab dinner, Daniel suggests they get some rest. He knows they have to limit their sleep because of the deadline, but he sees how beat everyone is. Sungchul agrees, worrying about everyone’s physical condition and thinking that maybe they’re overdoing it.

Jay and Ni-Ki push back. Jay is obsessed with how hard the I-Landers must be working and how the dropouts need to keep up. Jake counters that even though the I-Landers worked so hard last time, six of them still got kicked out. It’s a good point, but it doesn’t quell the conflict. They finally go back to practicing after dinner.

Ni-Ki leads the practice while Jay steps out for a few minues. Kyungmin is having trouble learning the steps. He’s also not feeling well, which is worrying. Sungchel suggests they let Kyungmin rest and try again tomorrow. Ni-Ki shuts that down, saying, “That won’t work.”

The others protest, saying they will work better after they rest. Ni-Ki reminds them that they all need to focus. Desperately trying to keep the peace, and probably a little embarrassed that he’s the reason for this conflict, Kyungmin tries to do the steps again, and Ni-Ki snaps that he’s doing them wrong. Pretty soon the two are having a full-on argument. The others actually have to step in and try to get them to cool down.

Just based on the translation, I think this argument stems from exhaustion. Ni-Ki says Kyungmin should do the steps the right way. Kyungmin tells Ni-Ki to demonstrate what he’s doing wrong. Ni-Ki says he doesn’t have to because he already did when they started all this. These trainees need to call it a day, get some sleep, and start fresh in the morning. And where the hell is Jay?

Everyone, including Jay, finally gathers in the dining area to hash this out. Jay is doing that extreme thinking people tend to do when they’re too tired to be rational. “If we don’t learn the whole routine by today, there are no answers,” he says.

In other words, even though they have four or five days left (it’s hard to keep track of this timeline), and it’s in the middle of the night, and they’re all useless from exhaustion, if they don’t learn the entire choreography RIGHT NOW, all is lost. We humans are a dramatic lot when we don’t get enough sleep.

We suddenly cut to the next morning at the I-Land. The veterans are learning their parts quickly, but the newcomers are struggling. What makes it worse is that the veterans seem to be ignoring the newbies. They’re all rehearsing in the same big practice room, so they can clearly see that their fellow teammates need help. If the newbies don’t do well, the whole team gets a low score.

In a confessional, newbie Sunoo says, “At the Ground, we went over parts we didn’t know and helped each other a lot. But here, it feels like you’re on your own.”

Heeseung goes into a private practice room to work alone, which is odd, because he’s the Leader, and his team clearly needs help. He tells us, “We can’t go at it as a team. We’re not getting judged on our teamwork. We’re being evaluated individually. So I think it will be okay if we’re not in sync.”

So … he has decided to practice on his own instead of with the team, when the upcoming test is all about teamwork. Forget lack of sleep. I’m wondering if Heeseung has taken a blow to the head.

I’m relieved when we now cut to the Midpoint Check D-Day. Two people are heading over to the Ground facility, where I imagine they’ll find nine trainees collapsed on the floor and Jay and Ni-Ki losing their minds. It looks like our two approaching visitors are Rain (oh thank God) and Doobu (oh … goodie).

Inside the Ground, the trainees are thankfully still alive and practicing. They are surprised to see the coaches, and I’m remembering that for some of them, this is their first time meeting Rain. Imagine being an American musician trying to break into the business, and suddenly Jay Z strolls into your studio to critique your work. It’s like that.

All the trainees are nervous, but Rain tells them he’s there to help them and they should see him as a “hyung,” an informal title for Korean males to address older men. This seems to put the trainees as ease. Rain asks who the Leader is and remembers Jay and Ni-Ki as former I-Landers. He wants to see how their teamwork has been going and wants to see the performance.

The run-through is really cool to watch because I love this song so much. I mean, several of them forget the steps, and they don’t do the flying move, and their formation falls apart a couple of times, and their singing is unsteady, but still … it’s a great song!

Rain does not look happy. He waits one long minute and then simply says, “This is embarrassing.” It’s worse that he’s not yelling. Not yelling means that he’s not mad, just disappointed. He then quietly reads them the riot act. He’s especially miffed that Jay didn’t do the flying move. Jay says he didn’t feel confident enough to practice that part yet.

Rain calls their performance “disrespectful.” Jay apologizes. He is not having a good couple of episodes. I will say I’m impressed with how he’s handling the criticism. When he was losing one audition after another in the first test, he got frustrated and gave up. Here, he’s taking accountability and is determined to do better.

We get an aerial view of the Ground facility, and okay, from up here, it does look like a prison. I still like it way better than the I-Land. We cut to back inside, and the dropouts are practicing the flying move. I have the same anxiety watching this as I did watching the No Mercy trainees practice the slingshot move. I have a bad feeling that someone’s going to die.

Now we return to the I-Land, where Zico is checking on that team, which is also struggling with the flying move. The trainees are thrilled to see Zico, who is accompanied by Son Sung Deuk, my favorite choreographer on this panel. Thankfully, Wonderkid is not here. Instead, we have Pdogg. He is a songwriter and producer for Big Hit Music (of course) and has a very impressive resume. I like to think he was supposed to be here last episode, but his flight was delayed, so Big Hit representatives grabbed an intern, told him his name was Wonderkid, and just threw him onto the set, hoping the viewers would buy it. We did not.

Zico asks the newbie I-Landers if they’re adjusting well. As a group, they say yes. Then Zico singles Sunoo out and asks him how things are going. Awk…ward. Sunoo says there was some friction at first. Zico is surprised. The veterans shoot Sunoo a LOOK. Sunoo quickly says they just had a hard time getting used to each other.

The coaches are ready to see the performance. I’m curious to see how the flying move is going for them.

The I-Landers performance is definitely more focused and high-energy. They also do the flying move. But there’s another tricky move they don’t even attempt. It also looks a little dangerous. This is one demanding routine. Someone could get seriously hurt. The coaches look pissed that they didn’t even try it.

When they finish, the coaches are silent for a minute. Then Son Sung Deuk gives a sigh and says, “I think it was the worst, seriously.” Really? It was way better than the Gound performance, and they just need to work on the scary parts.

Son Sung Deuk proceeds to rip their performance to shreds, and I’m just bewildered. Yes, they still need work, but it wasn’t the affront to God he’s making it out to be. He wants to know why they haven’t worked on the challenging group moves yet, and Heeseung explains his theory about how the individual scores are more important even though this is a test on teamwork, and here’s where I totally understand Son Sung Deuk’s reaction.

We cut back to the Ground facility. Rain tells Jay to step up and sing his part. Everyone is still a bit rattled from the bad review they just got. But Jay does his best. Rain corrects his pitch, but otherwise he’s impressed. “You should have sung like this when you were dancing,” he says. “You did well.”

The mood in the room instantly changes. The tension dissipates. The others sing their parts. Rain has some corrections here and there, but overall, he’s pleased. He tells the dropouts they have to bring more fire to this performance than the I-Landers. “Just pour gasoline on it,” he says. This is why this man is a legend.

Back at the I-Land, the coaches have left in a huff, and the trainees are upset. Feeling ashamed, Heeseung reassembles his team, and they get back to work. He also pep-talks his team about coming together as one, not just veterans and newbies. They end the day with a big meal of corn pizza.

It’s been a stressful epsiode so far, but of course you know what we are leading up to. Test Two Day has finally arrived! I am very excited. I want the I-Landers to do well, but not TOO well, because we have some future Enhypen members at the Ground who need to come back up. If the I-Landers give a perfect performance, the dropouts won’t get to perform at all, and all that rehearsal will have been for nothing.

Our coaches are gathered in the control room. Our I-Landers are doing a final rehearsal in the main practice room. At the Ground, our dropouts are throwing all their energy into a final rehearsal for a song they hope they’ll be able to perform. The tension is way high. I am so ready for this.

The I-Landers report to the stage while the dropouts watch anxiously on the big screen in their practice room. I live for these live performances on these survival shows. Let’s do this.

It’s straight fire. It’s so high-energy, I’m almost lifted out of my seat.

It has a few flaws. When Ta-Ki comes forward for his part, the judges can’t help laughing because he’s too cute and adorable for this song. Also, I think the team makes a mistake on the first lift, because Rain doesn’t look too happy when he sees that. Will these mistakes be enough to give the dropouts at the Ground a fighting chance?

The I-Landers go back to their chairs in front of the giant egg timer and wait for their scores. They know they have done their best.

First, we get the random individual scores with no names attached to them. They are significantly higher than last time. Most of them are in the 80s. Everyone in the I-Land and the Ground waits for the overall team score.

And then, a message appears on the screen: “Someone will be eliminated from the I-Land.”

We don’t know how many will be eliminated just yet. But that doesn’t matter right now. What’s important is that the dropouts will get to perform. The announcer tells them to report to the I-Land stage. I have goosebumps the size of golf balls.

Our final scene of the episode shows our dropouts walking out of the Ground facilty and making their way to the stage. They look confident and determined.

What a cliffhanger. I can’t wait to see our scrappy dropouts pour gasoline on the fire. See you then!

#kpop #recaps #survival reality shows #Enhypen #I-Land #BTS #Fire

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twig-tea · 2 years ago

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The La Pluie finale had everything:

The Perfect Confession

Ok listen I am not one for nonconsensual public confession but know your audience, Tien is a perpetually invisible middle child who is not afraid of public attention and he is a film major, Lomfon making him a film to illustrate his feelings got me emotional, and him then also saying them out loud!! Because my boy learns from his own and others' mistakes, yesssss.

The Perfect Apology

I was so ready for Tai to suffer from the bed of his own making this episode, and I was not sure four days of searching was going to be enough. But that apology was PERFECT. He apologized first, he explained exactly what he did wrong, and he fixed it by saying his feelings aloud, finally! I was braced for the show to let him get away with not saying it, but he did. AND the show did us one better by giving us the explanation that he was parroting his parents' bullshit, which is such a real thing and it is difficult to catch yourself doing it, so the fact that he recognized it displayed his growth before the apology too. Just, all around this was so perfectly constructed and I was so pleased. Hell yes.

Surprise Sapphics

Listen, I am always here for more women loving women. Always. And LBR it's only a surprise that we actually got Dream and Nara confirmed because I know many of us were already shipping them.

Confirmation of Other Side Pairs

IDK if anyone else was rooting for the other vet techs than me, but they shared coffee so they're married in my head now I don't make the rules.

Best Brothers Being Best

Honestly Tien could have just said "unfuck it" to Tai again in that phone call and it would have rolled up to the same thing lol I really do love how their relationship was rock solid through this entire show, even when romance was potentially a threat. They have such a good sibling dynamic, one of the best I've seen in any show, and it makes me happy whenever Tien and Tai interact.

It also had a few things that I didn't love:

Awkward Logistics

This is maybe not a big deal because Tai is a writer but he works in a job that requires him to be in the office at least occasionally and Patts just started setting up a new vet clinic in Chiang Mai. Is Tai going to leave his friends and family to work remotely and live in Chiang Mai with Patts? Are they going to have to work out their relationship anew long distance? This is going to suck a little bit, and the adult in me could not help but notice and have it damper my joy. That being said, it was something Patts said he was thinking about for awhile so maybe it's something that would have come up anyway in future.

Patts Now Believes in Soulmates

Honestly, this was the biggest damper for me and I wish they hadn't included it (but maybe they had to for the sequel, IDK). Patts originally was willing to try with Nara because he didn't think the soulmate thing could dictate his emotions and he loved her, but she would not believe him. He also was willing to try with Tai before realizing that they were soulmates. And he told Tai that he would have wanted to try a relationship with him whether or not they were soulmates. So why now are we told that he suddenly thinks he can only love his soulmate for the rest of his life? This is not just anti-narrative, but anti-Patts' previous statements. I get that he was hurting and predisposed to be melodramatic in that moment, but it was a weird statement to include.

Bow's Throwaway Het Happy Ending

Not to be heterophobic but where is her cute Northern girlie who Tumblr convinced me she was dating? Bow deserves better imho

Tien's Turn for Drama

I KNEW this was going to happen! They spent too much time making it a big deal that Tai was the only sibling with hearing loss during rain. I just want my best boy to be happy for five minutes! Considering these characters, and what Tien's already said about what he would do if given this choice, I could see this plot being interesting. Especially because Tien had to suffer, now it's Lomfon's turn, maybe. But still, just let me have this cuteness for a little longer, show!

But all of that is relatively minor and honestly what we got was so good I can forgive and forget all of it.

TL; DR La Pluie stuck the landing and I could not be more pleased!

#la pluie #la pluie ep 12 #la pluie finale #the queers keep winning #i am pleased #la pluie spoilers #typed so i can stop thinking it

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heloflor · 2 years ago

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After seeing a playthrough of Bowser’s Inside Story, I gotta say I’m kind of mixed on Starlow, and no, it’s not just because of the Luigi bullying.

The thing with Starlow is that, on one hand, it’s great to see a female character who has no hesitation talking back and who can be a bit of an ass. But at the same time, the way they wrote her just…it really makes it hard to like her sometimes.

I think the main issue is that she’s written as someone who talks back but most of those interactions are with people doing their jobs and messing up. This leads to moments with Starlow criticizing someone for the things they’re doing, but then proceeding to do nothing whatsoever to help. On top of that, she’s kind of useless in the game, making her “I’m better than you” attitude really come off in a bad way.

(btw that moment with the doctor/fortune-teller calling her out on it is very satisfying)

The best way to describe the issue, and that’s when it gets interesting, is to compare her to how Bowser is written in this game. There are essentially two things that are similar yet different about those two.

1. Like I said, Starlow is often criticizing people for what they’re doing, which is something Bowser does as well. But where Starlow goes “Man you suck at your job. Do better !” Bowser goes “Man you suck at your job. Here, let me do it for you !” and that automatically makes Bowser more likeable. Because instead of just complaining, he actually does things (the section with the Monty Moles for example).

2. A bit longer to explain but the Tl;Dr is that Bowser actually learns from his mistakes and grows while Starlow doesn’t. To explain this, I want to describe two interactions between those two.

The first interaction is when Bowser forgets the code to his safe and orders Starlow to find it, to which Starlow gets angry with his tone and tells him to fuck off, only accepting to help once he politely asks her to search. That right here is really good, and is an example of a moment where I really like Starlow’s attitude.

But then you have their next interaction. Bowser just spent hours stuck in a safe (btw someone stuck in a liminal space like that is a form of torture), was thrown into the garbage so hard the safe broke, and understandably is in enormous pain. Because of that, Bowser asks Starlow to help with his back, and his dialogue here echoes the previous one in a good way.

He starts off his sentence as an order, only to catch himself halfway through and ask politely. Bowser just went through hell, is in a huge amount of pain, and yet still finds it within himself to be polite because he knows that’s how Starlow wants to be addressed. This also shows that he respects Starlow since he remembered that detail about her and is willing to avoid falling into his usual bossy attitude despite his terrible state.

And what does Starlow do in return ? She basically calls him a whiney bitch for complaining. Yeah….this is not a good look.

This actually reminds me of one of their first interactions, when Bowser can’t produce fire and panics about it, with Starlow telling him to just deal with it. The first time I saw this dialogue I was like “Hey Starlow, buddy, how would you feel if you suddenly lost your ability to fly, with no idea of why and the only one that might help is some random voice you don’t know anything about coming from your stomach ?” Although, I’d cut Starlow some slack for this one since this is very early on, so Starlow has every right to be mad at him.

And more on that topic, the thing with comparing Bowser and Starlow is that you quickly realize how much better Bowser is than her. I already mentioned Bowser doing things himself and showing respect to her, but then there’s also moments like him being humble enough to eat Wiggler’s carrot when being ordered to to “take responsibility”, or when he out loud says he will break the rocks in his path to free the Koopas, and decide to commit to it upon realizing the Koopas heard him. In that second case, he could’ve easily gone a different path and tell the Koopas to shut up if they were to say anything, but he didn’t. Instead, he said he will break that rock and that’s what he’s going to do ! Same for the Wiggler btw. He could’ve beaten them up instead of eating that carrot, which he does end up doing afterwards when Wiggler loses their shit.

So yeah, when you look at how not-very-useful Starlow is compared to Bowser, when you look at how they treat others, and when you look at their interactions with each other…it’s kinda hard to find Starlow likeable when a literal villain is a better person than she is (granted Bowser is more of an anti-hero in this game but the point still stands).

Funnily enough, some of those moments like the Wiggler, the Koopas and him saying please to Starlow while in pain actually show that yes, Bowser is a pretty decent king. At the very least, you can understand why his people respect him.

So all-in-all, yeah, I’m kind of 50/50 on Starlow. It’s great to have a female character on the hero team who has a lot of flaws for once, but it’s also hard to find her attitude likeable. Ultimately, I think the issue is how she’s acting the same with everyone. Like I said earlier, it is satisfying when Bowser is being a dick and she tells him off. But when Bowser is being nice, or when she’s interacting with someone who’s only trying to help, Starlow really comes off as an ass, which is not a good look.

And yes, while still a minor thing in BIS, her bullying Luigi doesn’t help either.

#Mario and Luigi #Bowser's Inside Story #Mario and Luigi BIS #Starlow #Bowser #Super Mario #Flor talks #long post #of course I had to give my opinion about the yellow orb the fandom seems divided about #not me low-key calling Starlow a Karen in the way I describe her #I mean I really don't think she is one; but she does talk badly to people just doing their jobs #especially if that person doing his job is a green man with an L on his head #btw the let's play I saw didn't do any sidequests; not even the Shroobs one; so it's possible I missed some moments of Starlow being nice #(also Starlow is weirdly incredibly nice to Peach and acts all buddy with her despite them barely knowing each other #and makes quite the big deal about Peach needing to be kept safe + is already on a first-name basis with her #like forget 'Starlow likes Luigi but hides it behind bullying'; I think Starlow's actually crushing on Peach !)#also I really hope the next two games have more interactions between her and Bowser #because they do make a really good duo with a fun dynamic

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perfectpaperbluebirds · 2 years ago

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would you be willing to write for ryan from the office again? :)

Ryan Howard is super sick. A new coworker takes care of him and helps him with his congestion. CW: Induced sneezing (non-kink).

So I know canonically Ryan is a selfish, egotistical ass who never learns from his mistakes, but I can just imagine him being a little more subdued and boyish and eager to please when he first starts his fancy corporate job, and even more so if he finds himself miserably sick. For that reason, this story is set within the first few weeks of him leaving the Scranton branch and starting his new role. Mess warning, definitely more than I usually write. It was egg week when I wrote most of this, so no apologies. This also refers to sn*t and other less “pretty” snz words often, because that’s how I imagine Ryan would think about them.

To the anon who requested, sorry as always for the long wait. Winter sucks the writing juice out of me without fail. At least it’s extra long anyway. Hope this is somewhat what you were looking for.

Based on this post by @nobodybetterlookatme

Prompts used (from this old prompt list):

🦠 sniffles

🤧 sick for the holidays

What A Lovely Way to Burn

Ryan Howard scrubbed his hands over his face for the third or fourth time that hour, noting yet again how cold his hands felt against his cheeks. He sniffled, coughed, hating the grating sound it made and how much it hurt his head and throat. He had hardly put his hands down when a demanding itch flared up in his sinuses and he scrambled to grab a tissue.

"KZZT'choo! KHGGZT'choo!!" The thick, stifled sneezes had unpleasantly shifted all the congestion in his head, and he blew what felt like a gallon of slime out of his nose.

"You've been in New York for two weeks in the middle of summer, and you're already sick?" came a laughing voice from nearby. Ryan jumped, shoving the nasty tissue out of sight hurriedly. A hot girl, in fact that hottest girl here, the one that had caught his attention from the first day, was standing in front of his desk. Actually, leaning on it would be more accurate. She smirked at him flirtatiously, taking in his barely-unpacked desk and sickly, disheveled appearance. "Happy fourth of July, by the way."

"Yep. Happy fourth of July. Sick for the most random holiday. Call me lucky, I guess," he said, wishing he could pronounce the consonants properly.

"New York has that effect on people. Sorry about your luck, Lucky. My name's Tiffani. With an I.

"Nice to meet you, Tiffani with an I. And my name isn't actually Lucky. It's Ryan."

"I noticed." She nodded to the shiny nameplate on the front of his desk that had just arrived that morning. "Well Ryan Howard, VP of Northeast Sales, you are clearly a walking health hazard. What the hell are you doing here if you're sick?"

"I mean you said it yourself," he croaked. "I haven't even been here two weeks yet. It would look so bad if I called in already."

"Hmm." Before he realized what she was doing, her cool hand was pressed against his forehead. She made a soft sound in her throat, then suddenly both her hands were gently cupping his cheeks.

"You have a fever. Poor thing," she cooed, gently running her thumbs over his cheek bones.

He sniffled wetly, then coughed. "That's no big deal. I just hate that I can't stop coughing and sneezing."

"Aww, honey. You should be in bed," she said sternly.

"Trust me, I wish I was. But I just… I can't. Now's not the right time."

"Hmm," she said again, scrutinizing him. "If you say so. Have you eaten?"

He shrugged. "Not really. I'm not hungry. I can't taste anything, so–"

"Well that doesn't matter. You still need to eat. Wait here."

He watched her go, feeling a little breathless from everything that had transpired in the past five minutes, snotty cold notwithstanding.

Tiffani was gone longer than he expected (though he really had no idea what to expect), so he was attempting to work once more when a box of tissues hit him in the arm, nearly making him leap out of his seat. He glanced up to find Tiffani smirking at him yet again, holding a styrofoam takeout container.

"I said your name twice and you didn't even look up. Are you always this easy to scare?"

"No," he said sullenly. "My ears are all plugged up with everything else. And I was trying to concentrate."

"My apologies. I didn't realize you were so busy and important. Guess I'll take back the stuff I got you if you don't want it…."

He quickly pulled the desperately-needed box of tissues out of her reach. These weren't the crappy industrial office ones he'd been using either–they were the premium lotion ones.

"No, I want it," he said quickly. "Thank you. For bringing them."

"That's only half of it." She set down the styrofoam container and pushed it toward him. "You need to eat. You'll feel better if you do."

He reached for this offering almost in spite of himself, feeling a sudden, low rumble of hunger. The container was very warm; whatever it was would feel so good on his sore throat. "Where did you get all this?"

"I had it delivered of course."

"But… why?"

"Sucking up to the new VP, why else?"

Suddenly her hand was pressed to his forehead again, so fast he hardly saw her move. He found himself leaning into the touch almost reflexively, heavy and aching as his head was.

She clucked her tongue. "If you're going to stay, you need to take some medicine for that fever." She produced a bottle of Tylenol and pushed it toward him with the rest.

"You really don't need to do all this. It's just a cold." Yet he reached for the pills too, knowing her logic was sound. The next four hours would go much smoother if he was medicated. A thick, rumbling cough escaped before he could swallow the pills, making his chest and throat sear.

"Since you've apparently caught a cold from hell, I really think I do need to do all this."

"Why, though?" he croaked again, helplessly. "We hardly know each other."

She leaned in, giving him a clear view of the cleavage he'd been trying to avoid staring at until now. When she spoke, her voice was soft and silky. "Because someone needs to take care of the new boss, and that someone might as well be me." She straightened up again, brushing her hair over her shoulder with an air of someone who knew exactly what she was doing. "I'll be keeping an eye on you today. We'll make sure you start feeling better, for all our sakes. No one is getting any work done with you coughing and sneezing in here like you have been."

Ryan felt himself flush. "Thanks," he muttered, sniffling uncomfortably.

She was true to her word and checked on him regularly throughout the day. He wasn't entirely sure yet what her role was in the company, but apparently it had a lot of flexibility, judging by how much she was away from her desk. And every time she came, she brought him something else–cough drops, tea, more medicine. He had to admit, she was incredibly good at predicting his needs. He survived the intervening hours in far more comfort than he would have without her help.

Still, when the end of the day rolled around, he was the sort of utterly exhausted that only working while miserably sick can cause. Half dead on his feet, he slowly packed up to leave, and in the process he nearly crashed into Tiffani, who had snuck up on him once again and was standing beside his desk. In his foggy state he staggered and almost fell, but she caught him by the arm to steady him.

"You really are a mess, aren't you?" she asked, worry coloring her tone.

" 'm just sick," he mumbled, coughing wetly to prove his point. "And I didn't expect you to be standing there. What are you doing anyway?" he asked, noting that she was also dressed to leave and carrying her purse.

"Coming to take you home."

"I'm an adult. I don't need help getting back to my apartment."

"We're not going to your apartment. We're going to mine."

She laughed at the expression on his face at this development.

"You just moved here, and you're a guy, so I'm sure at best you're sleeping on a mattress on the floor. You also probably have no food or medicine at your place yet, which is why you're as sick as you are to begin with. It makes way more sense for you to come home with me. You'll be much more comfortable."

He frowned half-heartedly, but had no argument. She had him pegged perfectly. Nothing sounded better than a real bed and a furnished apartment right now.

Seeing she had won, she smirked. She proved her powers of observation once more when she prodded the toe of her shoe into the corner of the duffle bag peeking out from under his desk. "What's this? Gym bag?"

"Yeah. Was planning to use the gym here but…" he gestured vaguely at his red, dripping nose.

"Bring that with you, then, and let's go." She grabbed his elbow possessively. "You'll love my place. It's very cozy."

A subway ride and a short walk later, they were arriving at a section of lower-income but still decent housing hidden in the heart of the city. Ryan hardly knew the city yet, and he was too sick and tired to pay attention to where they were going, but let her lead him with gentle pushes and pulls on his arm, trying to look less contagious than he felt. He could tell his fever was creeping up by how hot his ears felt, and all he wanted to do was fall into something resembling a bed and not get up for a long time. He let her lead him into an apartment building, up a few flights of stairs, and through one of the doors off a hallway landing.

It was a quaint little studio apartment, painted in soft, muted tones with cheerful feminine accents here and there, bright and open. The bed was immediately to the right of the door, separated from the rest of the room by cleverly placed shelving units, giving the feel of it being more than one room while a cozy sitting area dominated the rest of the space. One wall was made up almost entirely of windows, and the sunset leant a lovely, natural glow to the atmosphere.

"You have a beautiful apartment," he rasped, getting less intelligible by the hour.

"Thank you. I've lived here for three years now. I love it."

Ryan would never be bold enough to take a stranger's bed without being asked, so he made for the large couch, kicking off his shoes and shedding his jacket as he went with another husky cough. His original plan was to sit on the couch and just breathe for a bit, and make an attempt to be good company, but the plush cushions were so comfortable that he sank sideways, almost against his will, until his face met the soft throw pillow on his right. His eyes fell closed of their own accord and he tucked his legs up as well, but he did his best to stay awake for the time being. In his current state, the wide couch felt more comfortable than any bed he'd ever slept in. Yet Tiffani didn't let him get too comfortable, and plied him with medications for the fever immediately.

"It's been hours since your last dose and you're looking really sick again," she explained, watching as he drank a glass of water with the pills.

"I can't say I don't feel it," he sniffled, lying back down.

"Poor thing," she cooed. "I'm glad you can finally rest for a while.

He listened as Tiffani puttered around putting her things away. Soft music began to play, and then he heard a sharp clicking sound. His eyes fluttered open to see her lighting a candle. At ease immediately, his lids slipped shut again.

It seemed only a moment passed before he felt her shaking his arm, but when he opened his eyes again, she had changed clothes and showered, and her hair was in a towel.

"You should get a shower and get out of your work clothes," she said. "You'll feel better when you're more comfortable."

He grunted his assent, his throat too sore to want to talk. He sluggishly levered himself into a sitting position, sniffling as he tried to avoid dripping on himself, then stood, grabbing his gym bag. The urge to sneeze overwhelmed him suddenly:

“Heh’KIHHPT’shoo! Hddd'TSHHHooo! Dihh'IHSHHooo!!

He almost doubled over with the force of the messy trio. He hardly had time to cover, let alone find a tissue, so his hands were covered in slime by the end. He made a disgusted sound in his throat as he surveyed the mess.

"Bless you. Now you definitely need a shower," Tiffani laughed, unperturbed. "Go get cleaned up. Maybe it'll clear your head a bit too."

He tried to do as he was told, but just as he reached his destination another pair of sneezes snuck up on him, further soiling his hands:

“KIIHHPT-ttsscch! KHHGGT'nxxt!"

“Bless you again,” Tiffani said dutifully.

"Why is this cold getting worse instead of better?" he griped, swiping a tissue from the bathroom counter to scrub at his hands and nose as he continued to sniffle fruitlessly.

"That's how colds work, silly," she said, rolling her eyes fondly.

"Will this one seems to suck more than most," he mumbled, shutting the bathroom door behind him at last.

The hot water did indeed help in many ways, from the aches to the congestion to the tiredness, and he emerged feeling marginally better, especially now that he was wearing soft workout clothes instead of a starchy shirt and pants. He managed to smile at Tiffani from the door of the bathroom, but the first breath he took of non-steamy air brought the sinus irritation roaring back, and he was forced to bury his face into the bundle of clothes in his arms as he exploded into the messiest sneezing fit yet:

Huhh’REHHSHHHoo! ESSHHHyoo! Kuh-hh-HUSSHHHoo! Huh’ISSHHoo! Hh-h… huh’KIISHHoo! Heh-hh… Hiihg’KSSHHoo!”

“BLESS you,” Tiffany said, looking startled now. “That was… intense. Do you feel better at least?”

Ryan could only shake his head as his breath started to hitch once more, eyes red and streaming already: “Hehh'dzz-IHHH'shoo! Heh'KIHHT'shoo! Kihhh'IHHTchoo! Hihh'GEHH-CHOOF!”

Tiffani frowned. “Something is setting you off. You shouldn’t be sneezing so much.”

“Mbaybe idt’s the ca’dle,” Ryan croaked, nodding to the counter where the scented flame was still flickering. “Budt those dond’t usually bother mbe….”

Tiffani didn’t wait for him to finish and quickly snuffed out the offending flame. Meanwhile Ryan crushed a handful of tissues to his weeping nose, trying to quell the persistent tickle as he staggered his way back to the couch, feeling much worse now than he had before the shower. His head throbbed, his eyes ached, his throat seared. The brief sense of relief the shower had provided was already a faint memory. He felt distinctly foggy as Tiffani plied him with food and fussed around, trying to make him comfortable. He managed a few bites, trying to make her happy. The itching in his nose never fully subsided, though, nor did the dripping, and now his head was also stopped tight with suffocating congestion from the forceful stifling, making him feel even more puffy and achy. He found himself unable to breathe any way but through his mouth, which made him cough more, and of course he had to keep a tissue perpetually pressed to his upper lip. In short, he felt all around disgusting. Wrapped up in his own misery, he didn’t realize Tiffani was talking to him until she nudged his shoulder a while later.

“Why are you breathing like a dying fish? You really don’t sound good.”

"Kinda feel like I'mb drowni’g," he slurred. “Cand’t breathe. Too congested.”

“I can see that,” she agreed. “Hm…” she glanced over her shoulder. “Do you want to try to get unplugged? I think sneezing might be better than whatever is happening to you right now.”

He was in no state to make decisions, but she was right, anything had to be better than this, so he nodded sluggishly, wondering what she had in mind. He didn’t have to wonder long, for in a moment she was holding a familiar candle under his nose, the same one that had just been burning. The wax still hadn’t hardened completely.

“Take a deep breath and don’t stifle anymore. Just let it happen.”

He gave her a skeptical look, but took the warm glass jar from her. “You bedder step bagck, then. I dond’t wandt to sndeeze on you.”

She obediently crossed to the other side of the room. When she was out of range, he took a hesitant whiff, nose only inches from the wax.

The results were instantaneous. His nostrils flared, his chest expanded and his breath gasped as he launched into the messiest, wettest sneezing fit he’d ever experienced. The congestion he’d created from stifling was apparently eager to be released, and everything came flying out at an alarming rate at the slightest provocation. He soaked through tissue after tissue as he sneezed and sneezed and sneezed, needing only a few breaths of the candle to keep himself going.

Several minutes later he felt significantly emptier, and at last he allowed the sneezing to taper to a stop with a final, tremendous nose blow. Completely exhausted, he let his throbbing head fall back. His nose was much better, but everything else was worse. He couldn't keep from groaning, both from relief and self-pity.

He felt the couch shift as Tiffani sat down beside him. Her cool hand on his burning face made him moan again as she brushed the damp hair from his forehead.

"Feeling better now?" she murmured.

He made a non-committal noise.

"Poor thing. You are so, so sick honey," she cooed. "You're absolutely burning up. You just rest now. I've got you."

Too tired to resist, when she gently pulled him to lay against her chest, he allowed it. Sitting mostly upright kept him from coughing too much, anyway. He found he was very comfortable this way, especially when he realized she was playing with his hair. In no time, lulled by her soothing touch and soothing breathing and soothing heartbeat, he was fast asleep.

#my writing #the of/fice #sick ry/an how/ard #oc insert #answered asks #prompt fill #thanks for the request. Sorry for the wait. You know the drill #this is kinda gross but I kinda love it #Makes me want to write someone with the kink and inducing in a sexy way #but we'll see if that ever happens #everyone is hotter with a fever #ask box story

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